Framework Konon.... PAH!

Okay, I've thought about this for a bit. I am actually going through a bit of a writer's block (eh, samo plop dengang Meka...) so one of the 'exercises' I did was this association thing, where I come up with one totally random phrase or word, and just come up with things that relate to that phrase or word or whatever. 

So somehow, I kinda diverted my 'association exercise' into blog topics, things that I can talk about in this blog. Originally, I just wrote 'what's in my head' in the middle of an A4 paper, and tried to expand on that, but seeing that my head and all its brilliance is pretty blocked at the mo, my head decided not to cooperate. I am left looking at the A4 paper pretty stupidly with the unfinished mind-map of "What's in My Head" in the center. Sorry Tony. 

Source

So then, I somehow digressed a bit more and thought, since there's nothing in my head (maybe the aliens have sucked out my brains or something), why not just expand "What's in..." haaaaa, that question, I tell you, tiba-tiba banyak idea mencurah-curah. Actually, not that many ideas lah, tapi adalah sampai 10 benda I can list down, as per the following list:

What's in....

1. Your head?
2. Your heart?
3. Your purse/wallet?
4. Your handbag/manbag/backpack?
5. Your office drawers? 
6. Your wardrobe? (lemari baju lah, kang ada plak yang cakap, sejak bila kau  ada wardrobe)
7. Your PC and/or external harddisk and assorted memory flash drive/disk? 
8. Your car?
9. Your memory box?
10. Your blog?

So now, I have somewhat of a framework of things to write when I stumble upon another of this infamous writer's block. Question now is, tajuk dah ada, content? 

Bwahahahaha... bongok. Looks like we're back at square one.

ps. Please forgive the author/blogger. She just came back from a week long vacation, and she still haven't adjusted to the fact that SHE HAS TO WORK, DAMMIT!

Painful

Sometimes, you just met somebody and you thought, "Hey, this person is cool. We clicked. We would be totally awesome friends."

And you think, being awesome friends with each other constitutes doing absolutely all the random, funny things that got you attracted to that new awesome friend in the first place. Because you think that you are also awesome that way.

Turns out you're not.

Talk about awkward.

Talk about painful to watch.

Image Source

extra prescription. Don't mind the nonsensicaliciousness (it's not a word, I know, but then again, neither is refudiate, and look where that word got her) of this post, I was just venting off some steam. And no, the entry is not about me, it's about something in the vicinity.

extra prescription, if you take this you'll be on an overdose. little Miss is going for her orientation tomorrow. Already I have request from as far London for pictorial evidence. The Hubs is lucky if I don't break down and cry in front of all the teachers and the parents. And the kids. Haih.

Malas Nak Categorize Tags

Hokies. So I have a tonne of tags, used to categorize my otherwise cluttered blog. KONON. Ptuih. Penipu besar saitonnnn. I keep on creating new tags that supposedly categorized my randomness. I end up with a God-awful army of tags that I had no idea I had in the first place. Haiya. Randomly and haphazardly organized lah konon-kononnya.

Ha, sekarang ni macam mana ni?

She Did it Again...

Halu pipol. I'm back. Did you miss me? Did ja, did ja, did ja?

Anyways, I re-did the layout, which, by the way, was the numero uno reason I abandoned this blog before (liar, liar, pants on fire -_-). Now my layout, although not exactly what I totally want, is okay-ish. At least, okay enough for me to want to blog again, so that's good news, right?

What's up in my life? Nothing much, maybe that's why this is a good idea. Cos things are so boring right now, I think this blog can serve as a distraction of sorts.

What do you think?

Premature...

It seems my earlier excitement is premature. Alas, more hickups arise. *sigh*.

Guess I should've just stuck with the sucky Minima template -- like what I've done in the past, and I'll automatically sans-headache henceforth. But... but... there are tonnes of nice-looking blogs out there! I want mine to be as nice looking as theirs!

Not fair!

*stomps feet like a 5-year old*

Back In Business...

After a bit of a hiatus -- I needed time off to cool off the mistakes I did when I fisched up my old blog template, I decided, I will, as a matter of fact, come back to this blog. I did set up a few other test, dummy blogs in my soul search, but I thought, what the hey, I don't want the old, 700 prior-to-this blogs ritual I used to have, I'mma gonna stick with this one. So this is it then.

I've searched high and low for a template I would like. The current one I'm using, I quite like, but I'm still on the lookout. The feel would probably be the same as this one, though, traditional at heart, I'd prefer to have a template that has the sidebars on the left side of the page. Three columns is finally winning over two-columns design in my books, so that's another pre-requisite. I like natural, earthy and pastel colour combo. And I like scrapbook feel to my blog. *sigh*. Wish I could work on something, my own blog template on my very own. Hmmmm... maybe I will someday, who knows?

In the meantime, wish me luck with that people. And wish me luck and strength for the mountain of work I have for my Masters class.

About Me #001

I fancy myself as a writer. I used to be paid working as one. Then I got sick of writing so I quit that job. I looked for another job, found one, loving it, and don’t have to write much – bliss. But something in me just ain’t right, just ain’t clickin’, I ain’t got me some soul food. I need to write. And believe me, I’m the type of writer who writes cos I want to write. I’ll never write cos I have to write.

Don’t let the very minimal archive fool you. Or the low traffic. Rest assured that I am not new to blogging. Or monetizing my blog. As evident by a few of my posts, I have about 700 blogs before this, all abandoned out of guilt, for not updating them, for not wanting to update the blogs cos I have to. I am one of those people who believe that blog entries should only consists of stuff that counts. Sometimes, I run out of stuff that counts, and I hate making up stuff that counts just so that my blog is kept alive.

I write my entries in drafts. Then I edit them. And I re-edit. That, my friend, is the mark of a true writer. A writer never publishes something as is. It goes to different stages of heartbreaking editing, even by your own self and I am my own worst critic. That being said, since I am a borderline narcissist, that’s not such a huge punishment to me, I guess. But I do think long and hard about my entries, my choice of topic, word, etc. It’s a long and laborious process, and so I truly appreciate considerate and mindful responses (if any). Actually, I prefer not having any comments/responses at all.

Why no responses? Aren't responses a good way to know if your entry has reached your audience? Yes and No. Not many people share my sense of humour. Not many people share my point of view. Not many people get what I'm saying. Maybe I'm not from this solar system. And I hate explaining myself over and over again, but I get annoyed when people don't get me, or misunderstand me. So very the drama in my head. So I prefer if people just let me be.

But then, if I'm so against comments/responses, why don't I just disable the comments feature in your blog? Ah, I thought you'd never ask. That's for just in case. Just in case, someone from my planet reads my entries and decides to say hi.

You never know, my brother, you never know.

Kesian Blog Engkau...

(Translation : Pity your blog...)

That's what one of my online friend says about this blog. Cos, #1, I kinda abandoned it for a while now -- a few weeks with no new posts?

And #2, compared to my older blogs, this one is a little bit on the not-so-popular side. Not trying to brag or anything (whattafark? You are bragging!!!) I am actually extremely well-versed in blogwhoring and selling my blog and using my online networks of friends to promote my blog.

Now, the question is, in relation to cause #2, why do I seemed to be refusing to promote my blog to my friends? Well, for one thing, I want to express myself. Truly express myself. Truly say what I feel. Of course, in my older blogs, I do this as well, but for the most part, I seemed to be reciprocating others. What I mean is that, instead of writing about what's going on my life, what's my view on things, I tend to echo others.

Case in point, I used to have this tag in my older blogs, "spin-off [blogger friend name]". What happens in the entries with those tags would be me responding towards another friends' entry, That's what I mean when I say I tend to echo others. I no longer want to do that.

Okay, so I shouldn't really be blaming others about this. I shouldn't be pointing fingers and say that it's their fault my blogs have all become somewhat like that. I should have stronger resolve myself. I should be my own person. But the thing is, I am. It's just that, most of the time, I have to be this polite freak who returns the favor. You come visit my blog, you comment, then you start an entry in your blog responding to my entry -- ay! The circle is mercilessly endless!

So that's what's with the brand new start.

Agaknyalah.

Konon.

*sigh*

Minimalisme

Sangat.

Kononlah.

Tapi seriously, I cannot stand things that don't serve a function. Contoh, kat rumah lah, rumah aku included, mesti ada vases after vases after vases of bunga. Apekah? Mak aku cakap, saja hiasan. Cantik. Dan every weekend, lazimnya koleksi bunga mak aku akan bertambah. Kenapa? Sebab Mak aku mesti ada jemputan kawin, dan more often than not, Mak aku akan dapat bunga telur or bunga pahar.

Aku dah cuba mintak Mak aku tengok Inside a Hoarder's Home on Oprah Winfrey (mind you, Mak aku tak lah sechronic that particular lady, at least Mak aku seorang yang kemas semua benda, and the kind of person where everything has a place), tapi masa tengok cerita tu, Mak was more excited about the house makeover. "Cantiknya!!!" or "Would you look at that!!!" I dunno if she was doing it on purpose, or memang dia sangat-sangat excited about the beautiful makeover.

And actually, to be honest, I also have my clutter. I have tonnes of "recycle paper", papers which are printed on one side, jadi konon-konon, I want to use the other side lah, for writing and conteng and stuff. Tapi haram, jarang guna pun. And the pile just keep growing. Adeh. I want to throw them away, but then, part of me is scared of Al Gore. After all, I don't want to be An Inconveniet Truth.

So, memandangkan physically, as in my office space, my homefront, I cannot do much of de-cluttering, so I made my blog as free of clutter as possible. Hence the minimalist banner. Hence the white background. Hence the very limited use of colour. Ahaha. Konon lah.

The Idiot... #002

Note : Yes, I am tragically un-creative when it comes to giving titles to my blog entries. So, from time to time, you'll be stuck with the #00x appended at the end of the blog title, just to say that it's a different entry than the one that had the same name, but came out earlier. I can deal with it, so can you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, so I'm going to risk being busted by friends and fellow bloggers, but this tidbit is tooooooooo cool not to share. Sharing is caring, as bleurgh as that sounds.

[Why do I say that I risk being busted? Oh, because I've decided to remain an anonymous blogger with this blog. So, by disclosing this, and risking the general population of the world reading it, I'm at risk of exposing myself to friend(s) involved in the fiasco. Oh well... que sera sera.]

So I was happily bloghopping, singgah sana, baca and gelak. Singgah sini, baca dan komen, so the ritual goes. Then I hopped on to my friends' blog. Oklah, baca dan baca dan baca. So, I left a comment on her blog. I left something along the line of, "For the sake of humankind, I shall promote procreation to one and all,". It's actually an inside joke [demmit, now I am so totally busted!!!], something only me and my small circle of friends know. The keyword there is procreate.

[FYI, TMI, I am quite young-ish. 26 to be exact, and I have two kids. The oldest is 4, the younger one is 10 month old. Among my friends, I am the only one with kids - two kids summore. Member-member lain masih mencari, dalam pencarian, baru mengakhiri pencarian etc]

Tiba-tiba, my friend the blog owner YMed me. The chat goes something like...

ANGELINA JOLIE : hun, ur comment caused quite a stir at my blog lah.
HUN [A.K.A aku lah, the writer/owner of this blog] : oh, ye ke? kenapa?
ANGELINA JOLIE : uh... um... ko tengoklah sendirik
HUN [A.K.A aku lah, the writer/owner of this blog] : perempuan, kau nak suruh aku upkan traffic kau ke? cakap je la..
ANGELINA JOLIE : oi, kojaq... [sedikit lagi maki-hamun manja dari Mrs Brad Pitt] Tengok je lah sendiri...
HUN [A.K.A aku lah, the writer/owner of this blog] : ye lah.. ye lah..

Maka aku pun typelah URL blog beliau [taip ok, aku tak subscribe atau bookmark atau apa-apa. History pun aku disable kat browser FF aku ni. Old school style] dan masuk ke blog beliau dan pergi ke entry blog yang disebut tadi. [Actually aku tak sure pun mana satu entry yang dimaksudkan, tapi aku belasah aje, sekali betullah, entry yang aku tembak tu rupanya contains the offending material].

Aku pun scroll. Tak de apa-apa pun. Scroll down lagi. Tak de apa-apa. Harmless comments daripada netizens within the blogosphere. Then aku jumpa comment aku. Aku baca lagi - fuh, best gilak comment aku, kelakar pulak tu, aku pikir [Sorry, hubris talking]. THEN... jeng jeng jeng... Aku terjumpa sesuatu yang membuatkan air hidung aku merembes-rembes keluar tatkala aku tergelak besar.

Komen ini berada di bawah komen aku [and in response to my comment]...

Princess Comelicious* [bukan nama sebenar - masyaAllah, mak bapak dia lagik gila hubris daripada aku kalau betul2 nama anak dia comelicious]

"Dear Angelina Jolie, please tell your friend that she doesn't have to rub it in everyone's faces lah. Tahulah ada anak. Kenapa nak berlagak. Tuhan kan Maha Adil. Ada orang tak de anak sebab belum rezeki. No need to tell people you are pro at creating..."

At first aku terkebil-kebil, air mata, hingus and other bodily fluid belum keluar lagi. Apakah yang wanita ini maksudkan? Aku baca lagi. Aku tak paham. Kali ketiga aku baca comments on my friends' blog in sequence, termasuk komen aku dan komen-komen selepas "Princess Comelicious" [bukan nama sebenar]. Aku still blur. Aku terus video-conference dengan hubby [dia tengah tidur kat opis, aku kejut]. Aku suruh dia baca blog and all the comments, kot-kot he picked up something I missed. Hubby terkebil-kebil jugak baca. Then hubby senyum meleret-leret. Apekah?

"She thinks you're saying you're a pro at creating children," kata hubby. Kimaks! Aku pandang kiri kanan, ready with a sheepish, apologetic smile. Dahlah video conference ni on speaker phone, satu opis dengar. Fuh, sebbaik tempat aku gila secluded and orang lain cuti New Year.

"Sssshhh!!! Apelah cakap macam tu kuat-kuat," aku marah hubby. Actually, aku still blur2 lagi.

"Ehehehe... tell that Princess Comelicious [bukan nama sebenar], practice makes perfect," kata hubby before disconnecting the video conferencing.

Sekali lagi, apekah?

Aku rasa, there's a void in between Princess Comelicious' eyes.

Sun Tzu's Art of War

My strategy is simple. I love writing. So much so that I refuse to write for the sake of just writing something. I have to want to write. Unfortunately, I am also fickle. And I have a weak resolve. So I don't write that often. And the times when I do want to write are few and far in between.

That's why my other 700 blogs have died before this.

However, with this blog, I have a new strategy. I've yet to figure out if this strategy will work out for the best. Or if it will forever be the cure of me abandoning my blogs out of guilt for not updating them for so long. I am also not sure if this is the strategy that some bloggers have employed long before me (D'oh! You mean you just figured this out???), in which case they'll hate me cos I'm revealing their secrets to a long and fruitful and constantly updated blogs (like daily updates? Hullo, have ye no life?)

My strategy is to have drafts after drafts after drafts after drafts of stuff. Stuff that I can publish when my blog gets a little bit neglected. Stuff that tells me, hey, I'm a good mom to my blog.

And then I'll work on taking over the world.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH!!!

Be Ye Not So Stupid

Although my archive might mislead you, I am not new to blogging. I am seasoned enough to know that if I want to start a "hate" blog, I should stay anonymous. No easy feat, I tell ya. It's hard for me not to divulge information that is relevant to my stories cos they may reveal who I am. It is also hard for me not to link my stuff to, oh, I dunno, every other virtual playground I hang around in.

My "hate" blog may contain rants and raves about work, and I can get into deep shite if I am to reveal myself. Can you imagine, on my bad days, calling my boss dickhead and then getting fired for it? Hey, look, I love her*, and she may be my idol when it comes to blogging, but I refuse to be dooced. Hell noooo. I love my job too much, and I refuse to be punished just because I get irritable and annoyed and sensitive once in a while.

My hate blog may also contain information about family member(s) who just can't help but to piss me off from time to time. I love them (with the exception of one), but I just want to strangle them from time to time, ya know? I ain't no saint. So, unsurprisingly, I wholly agree when Susan Shapiro, a Manhattan journalism professor who wrote for New York Times, Washington Post etc, said “Some names and identifying characteristics of people portrayed in this book have been obscured so they won’t divorce, disown, hate, kill or sue me.” (I found that quote here).

So, to those of you who have to know who I really am, I'm sorry, this blog is not for you. At least for the time being. Happy reading anyways!

*No, she is not my boss.

Oops, she did it again...

World, say hello to the serial-blogger, who's come back armed with a new blog. Will she ever keep up with this one, or will it also be abandoned like the 700 others she has all over the world wide web?

You askin' me? HAH!

ps. I'm blogging about blogging, this is not a good sign or start.