Happy Teachers' Day... NOT!

Okay, so Little Miss is in primary school. Last year, during Teachers' Day, she didn't get her teacher anything, despite her teachers getting all the kids Happy Mother's Day cards for their moms. I didn't want to force feed something to my kid without them understanding what it's all about, so what I did was explain to her what the day is all about. She didn't look too convinced, so I didn't want to make her do something blindly, not understanding what it means. So, no gifts and what not that year.

This year, I think she kinda got the hang of Teachers' Day. Actually, she caught on kinda quick last year, after seeing her friends and seniors getting gifts for the teachers. She said something to that effect. It might also be peer pressure, and my kid just didn't wanna be left out, so I decided, what the heck, let's just get the teachers something anyways, cos they are doing an awesome job with the kids.

So fast forward to this week. Monday, no school, cos the school had their annual Sports Day over the weekend. Tuesday, Little Miss got fever, so no school for her then either. Wednesday was when she went to school. Coincidentally, Wednesday, 16 June, is Teachers' Day. I've already bought the Teachers' Day gift earlier, so I told Little Miss to bring them to school on Wednesday.

I got back home that Wednesday evening, lo and behold, the whole dang bag of Teachers' Day gifts was at home. I asked Little Miss what happened, she said, the teachers told her to wait until Friday to give the gifts cos that's when the school is having their Teachers' Day celebration.

Oh, okay. 

Wait. Hold up a minute. 

What. The. Fuck?

Really, I don't mind them having the one day celebration thing. To be honest, I actually remember the days when we used to have that at school, where we'll have performances, the teachers will sing the 'Kami Guru Malaysia' song, the HM reading the Education Minister's speech -- all of that and more, so I get it. But never could I understand why is it they feel necessary to tell a 7-year-old girl to take back a bag full of her gifts of appreciation for her teachers because she wanted to give her on the God-damned wrong day? Seriously? SERIOUSLY? WHAT THE FUCK?

Okay fine, hadiah aku beli tak de lah grand sangat. Benda bongok je pun. Mug. The kind yang ada roses tu.  Biasa je. Less than RM5 pun to be honest. But when I showed them to Little Miss, her eyes lit up, like they were the most awesomest thing she could give her teachers. So I decided there and then that money for those mugs were money well spent. Tapi, bila Little Miss nak bagi, dan cikgu kata, eh, tak boleh bagi hari ni, bagi hari lain, kau rasa apa yang aku rasa bila aku dengar dia cerita macam tu? Little Miss looked like she always does when she told me that, but all the while I was thinking, whatthefuck, whatthefuck, whatthefuck? 

Haih. I don't knowlah. Do you think I am overreacting? Rileklah, suruh bagi hari Jumaat, bagi Hari Jumaatlah. What's the big deal kalau kau kena suruh bagi hari Jumaat pun. Thing is, pada aku, tak patut jadi pun benda cam tu. Kalau dia nak bagi hari ni, biaq pi kat dia la. Yang hangpa nak paksa jugak bagi hari Jumaat pasepa. Susah sangat ka kalau dia nak bagi hari Rabu tu?

Seriously. I dunno lah why these people are like this.

What happened to teachers like this lady?

extra prescription. yes, the Teddy Stallard story is fiction, I know. But what's more important is that I actually know of teachers who are like that in real life, so there.

Mission Kinda Possible : Find a School Bag

Little Miss will be schooling next year. Big girl school. Primary school. Being the oldest, she's the guinea pig she wished she never was (at least I think that's what she thinks).

We kinda had a plan on how many uniforms to get for her (2 baju kurungs, 2 pinafores, 3 blouses). But of course, being youngest in my family, older sibs and mak told me to get only the barest essenstials possible. Little Miss will grow up quickly, they say. She won't fit in the small bajus anymore in a very short period of time. For me, little Miss is little. She can still fit into tees meant for 3 year old, bajus half her age. Of course, the length of the bajus are a different story altogether, but let's not get there. All I'm saying is that, she's small for her age, but she's tall.

So one fine day, the hubs had the day off. We decided we'll go shop for her school stuff that day. So off we went to this huge-ass shopping mall in the middle of the muddle that is KL.

So we got the bajus, I actually wanted to get cheaper ones, cos this is a kid we're talking about. Little Miss will probably outgrow them before we know it (okay, so I said something different in the earlier para, I am in denial, in case you haven't noticed. I want little Miss to stay a three year old forever, boleh?). But the hubs being the hubs wanted to get the top of the line ones. Lucky he didn't whisk us off to Proffessors. So we got something, I dunno, maybe second or third ranked brand for uniforms for little Miss. We got her two of each, two baju kurungs and two pinafores with blouses and two pairs of shoes.

Okay, where's the bloody checklict? Uniforms - checked. Shoes - checked. Socks - checked.

Further explorations resulted in chemise and some shorts. And oh yeah, some PE pants. Okay, checked, checked, checked.

The only thing left then was her school bag. Okay, so the general consensus from family members and friends, school bags are mostly useless. You might as well go and get the ones from Mydin cos if those bags become unwearable in like, 2 weeks of schooling, it's a cheapo bag that you can just throw away. If you get the ones with all the bells and whistles, or in the case of schoolbags of the 21st century, wheels and pull handles, it'll cost a bomb and it will most probably go useless within months of schooling.

I was already disheartened knowing this. I wanted to get her something cool for her schoolbag. I didn't want her first big girl school bag to be an outdated bag, the kind I had to use when I was a kid (usually mak would give me her UMNO meeting bags, I didn't mind actually, but others had way cooler bag, like Jem and Barbie. Didn't exactly feel left out, but it was kinda one of my childhood wish, so there). So the hubs and I spent a few shopping trips prior to this one trying to find an okay-ish compromise for the little Miss' first big girl school bag. We finally found one reasonably-priced and PINK backpack at Tearproof in Midvalley Megamall. Yippee-ky-yay-oh!

So that day, the day we took little Miss shopping for her school stuff, while looking for her uniforms, she saw a few school bags also on display in the area. She has got her sight set on one school bag. It's the over-priced wheeled contraption I swore I would never ever buy for my kids. It probably had Barbie or Powerpuff Girls or Strawberry Shortcake on it, which explained why little Miss was so enthralled by it. No way Jose, Missy, Mama ain't gettin' you that bag.

So we dragged her tiny behind to Tearproof thinking we can make her like the PINK Bodypac backpack. Haha, noob parents, THINK AGAIN SUCKAZ. The little Miss stood there shaking her head (eh, eh budak ni, menurun degil sapa ini?). Okay, so fine, we tried taking her to Tropicana Life (ZOMG, yes, she's going to Standard 1, pakai beg Tropicana Life? Sorry, for the life of me, I pun tak sure what possessed me to do that). Little Miss pointed to a bag. It was purple, okay, girl colour. But it had skulls on them. Not cutesy Avril Lavigne skulls, but the Pirates of Caribbean crossed swords as part of the design. By now, I realized little Miss was giving us a lesson in how stubborn she could be. By choosing stuff that she KNOWS mama and papa will not approve of, mama and papa will know THEY ARE WRONG. Wow, my six year old the manipulator. Today, I will conquer Standard One. Tomorrow, the world, bwahahahahaha!!!

But at that time, instead of reveling on how diabolical little Miss has become that day, I became angry. I told her, "Kakak, if you don't choose a bag now, you will have to bring your Smart Reader backpack yang dah koyak-koyak tu." She replied, without missing a beat, "OK." Goddammit, I am being outsmarted by a six year old! I marched her out of the store (Tropicana Life, remember?) and marah-marah the hubs (actually more like venting to him, "kakak ni ha tak nak pilih bag yang elok," bla bla bla). The hubs was like yea yea yea, malas nak layan. Haiz. What is wrong with this family???

Tired and angry and partially hungry, we decided to leave the bag-finding adventure for another day and made our way back to the carpark. On the way there, lo and behold, I saw this tacky , girly pink shop, Miss T or something. We went in, I am not sure what for, maybe I was just pushing my luck, to look for little Miss' bag. Near the back of the store there was this one white bag with flowers all over them. Maybe she really did like the bag or maybe she was tired of being bullied by mama (or is it the other way around?), little Miss said, "yes mama, I like the bag, please get me the bag." I looked at the hubs, but the bag is white, macam mana ni? Cepat lah kotor nanti... But then again, we discussed that the bag will get kotor any which way pun, unless we got her a black bag, which I doubt she will use and I will buy for her. So okay, we finally got her a bag, which cost us RM39.90, RM0.10 cheaper than the RM40 PINK Bodypac backpack we saw in Tearproof.

Lesson learned? Little Miss has a mind of her own.

The Trying Tiring Weekend

It's another 3-day weekend here in Malaysia again. But far from having a restful, fruitful weekend, I think I am more tired, exhausted and burnt out. And this coming from someone who had a 4-day weekend. *sigh*. You know the saying, the person who needs vacation the most is the person who just got home from one? I can totally relate.

Stop envying my vacation. I did not go anywhere. I was home. Friday - took care of the kids, 'cos my mother (who usually takes care of them went to Singapore to see some relatives). Saturday + Sunday - usual weekend off. Monday - public holiday, Prophet Muhammad PBUH's birthday.

I am trying very hard to not be angry. To not be negative. To remind myself, there is always, ALWAYS, a hikmah behind everything. But I can't help for being a human. I am royally pissed. I planned to do my assignments this weekend. I planned to catch up on my reading for my Masters. I planned a lot of fucking things that didn't get done because SOMEBODY thinks her plan is bigger than others.

Fuck you. I am angry. Let me be angry and if I were to burn in hell for being this angry (and tired and hungry and sleepy) then so fucking be it.

Been Busy #001

I'm now in the midst of doing my Masters. I am still a bit unsure about it all, and I question my decision on a daily basis, but I dunno. Maybe because it's free??? (Yes, I am currently being sponsored by my employer). Or maybe it's because it's not something I am totally, 100% in to?

You see, I'm very sure I'd do my Masters. Preferrably doing something along the lines of communication -- the very school I graduated from in UiTM. I love the media world, mass communication, even with all its sham and drudgery. I do, I really do, no matter how I bitch about how the broadcasting world is full of fakes who puts sooooo much blardy emphasis on beauty (but not so much on brains!). Although about 95% of the newsreader, newscaster, broadcast journalist in Malaysia can barely speak in English. Although those who can are mostly being sidelined. Although... Well, you get my drift. Despite all these shortcomings and flaws, I love the world of mass communication still.

But now, I'm offered to do my Masters in Instructional Design and Technology -- what the heck??? Well, google the term and read up, that's what I had to do anyways. I actually love the subject, but as always, I'm the kind of person who loves the smooth, shiny, sometimes embossed cover of a book, not so much the content. That's why my books sometimes sit some place unread for years on end. Yes, most of the time, when it comes to books, I am the world's most impulsive shopper. I buy on a whim. And then I don't bother to read. Cos the cover has done it for me.

Now here I am, a few weeks into the programme and seriously doubting my starting in the first place. God, what have I gotten myself into? Can I really cope with all this? Can I really do this? These people -- my coursemates -- have YEARS, AGES of experience in teaching and learning, in instructional design, in education, in training. Me? I have my degree and diploma in mass blardy communication! Do I really belong here? What the hell am I doing here???

I do understand, for the most part, the discussion that's going on, but somehow, I just refuse to speak and sound foolish, I'd much prefer sitting aside silently and appear foolish. I just keep on reading these discussion and going, "what the hell? does it really matter if it's theory or concept or principles being used? why are we arguing about semantics???" whatttttttttt have I gotten myself into???

I have now officially worked myself into a headache. God, please help me.

Please.

Separation Anxiety

It's my oldest first day at kindy. I enrolled her at Smart Reader Kids in Setapak. It costs a BOMB (seriously, somewhere in the region of almost RM2k! Mak oi! Aku study kat UiTM dulu tak semahal tu, ok?) , but then again, I shouldn't be berkira when it comes to her education, right? Oy, tell that to my dwindling bank account.

The kindy itself is nice lah. It's on the upper floor of a shophouse. When I was in school, (NOTE : When I say school, I almost always mean my uni days, should in the future I say school and mean school, I'll leave a note clarifying that, ohkay?) I had this lecturer who taught us writing for the mass media (or something). And one of her assignment was to come up with an advertisement for a kindergarten. So when we presented our work, she made a remark. Something like, "Sometimes I'm worried of all these kindies, with the playground on the outside... Kalau I orang kaya and ada orang nak kidnap anak I, macam mana?" Those days, I couldn't care less lah, cos the world revolves around me, me and me. Tapi as I grow older and have kids, yeah, even the unthinkable and the unimaginable pun become scarier and scarier. Illogical as it sounds, yes, having kids playing in the playground, even if it is within the school compound, is actually quite scary. Actually, I want to relate to a family tragedy, tapi tak mo lah, let's focus this entry on my daughter's first kindy experience.

Actually, it's more like an experience for me, more than it was for her. I mean, of course lah, not to steal her thunder or anything, it is her first day at school. But she was cool, calm and collected je masa kat kindy tu. Ahahahaha. Tak berperasaan, like the mother. AHAHAHAHAHA!!! In her class alone, ada about 3 or 4 kids yang menangis-nangis, air hidung meleleh-leleh keluar -- separation anxiety. Not only that, in the class above her (as in, the 6 year old classes, meaning budak-budak yang dah masuk kindy since last year) pun ada menangis-nangis. "Nak Ayah!" or "Nak Mummy!" or "Mana MAMA!!!". Oy. I pity the teacher. I have very limited patience, what more dengan anak orang lain, so I salute the teachers.

I was actually quite apprehensive masa tinggalkan my daughter tadi. In fact, I had to stop myself a few times from calling her teacher, to ask how she's doing. Ntah apa-apa. Padahal my girl rileks je masuk kelas and was busy colouring her owl picture. BTW, my girl coloured her owl picture (the handout from a teacher) with her pencil. STORY! I gave her my old Elle pencil case, and she played with that pencil case for ages now. She keeps all her assorted crayons and colour pencils in that old pencil case. Then for today, I gave her new 2 writing pencils and a Pooh eraser, new stuff, especially for school. I put her new stationery in the Elle pencil case, along with her other stationery lah and plunked it in her Mashimaro bag. Unsurprisingly, my borderline OCD 5-year-old, only uses her new pencil to colour the handout. Why? Because the other colour pencils and crayons are for play, these are the ones Mama said to use for school. *sigh*.

You think giving birth is hard? Try leaving your kid at her kindy for the first time. *sobs* My baby's all grown up.