Sunday Ritual (No More)

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Aku tak paham.. Tiap-tiap hujung minggu Mak aku mesti beli Berita Mingguan ngan Utusan Mingguan. Dah berapa minggu dah ni, cerita yang sama keluar, cerita cinta tiga segi Mamat Sepah-Fida-Adda. Minggu satu, keluar kenyataan si polan, gitu gini. Minggu depannya, kuar statement si hamba Allah tu pulak, counter yang si polan cakap. Minggu ni keluar statement si polan counter si hamba Allah. My question is, perlu ke?

Okay, so you all can say, if you're this angry about it, why read it at all? Actually aku pun tak pasti kenapa aku baca. Actually bukan baca sangatlah, more like skim the headlines, tapi aku sentap, sebab weekend paper reading ni jadi ritual hidup aku sejak aku kecil lagi. I read page after page, almost each and every word (sometimes ads are even included, I was that sangap), sebab when it comes to newspapers, aku ngan mak aku serupa, kalau dah lambat (around noonish), baik tak payah baca dah paper tu. Hari biasa of course dulu-dulu aku sekolah and nowadays, kerja, celah mana aku nak baca paper pagi-pagi. So weekend je la yang dapat jadi spot aku teruskan ritual aku...

You see where I'm going with this?

Ni belum masuk cerita wedding sponsor tu lagi. Come on lah, perlu ke cover macam tu sekali? I can feel my brain cells dying just by looking at their pictures, belum lagi aku baca cerita-ceriti yang disempilkan.

Okay, dah, dah, tak payah lah baca... Masalahnya, tak baca pun aku still nampak, and remember the ritual I so cherish my whole life? That ritual is now has to be replaced with another one, I guess... Takkan aku nak keep on doing something yang membunuh brain cells aku?

Can anybody suggest an equally fulfilling and mentally-challenging Sunday ritual?

WTF Uhgain

Kids, here's a tip. If you're angry, don't listen to Eminem.

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Any song by Mr Marshall Bruce Mathers is a surefire way to further stoke your anger. Heck, if you're just a little bit annoyed, I guarantee you, listening to Sing for the Moment can simmer your annoyance to full-blown RAAAAAAAAGE. Seriously. Rage that that Leonidas fler has nothing on.

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Alamak. Kiut nye abang gagah. Tak jadi marah. Hamjadah betul.

Okay, here's the thing (btw, ni still mode marah). Please lah, bagi salam boleh tak? Please lah, jangan ASSUME boleh tak? (Ada lah bijak laksana bulans yang mengatakan, 'to assume is to make an ass of u and me', geddit? Actually, to me statement to cliche but it gets the point across). And most importantly, don't judge.

Let's say you have a friend, XYZ, who always wear a blue shirt to work. 5 days a week, 5 different shades of blue. Sometimes he'll throw in an odd white or cream coloured shirt in the combo lah, but most of the time, he's blue da ba dee da be da.

Now the thing is, a decent human being could not have been bothered at all. But okay, let's face it, if you're a normal human being, and if you're in a group of other normal human beings, chances are, you're gonna be all kaypohchi about why XYZ is only wearing blue.

Eh, suka hati dia lah dia nak pakai baju biru je memanjang. Mungkin biru tu warna kegemaran dia. Mungkin baju-baju yang dia dok rotate pakai tu je baju-baju yang dia mampu beli sebab mak dia kat kampung sakit and adik-adik dia nak sekolah. Mungkin ex-girlfriend dia yang dah arwah suka sangat-sangat dia pakai baju biru dan dia sekarang in denial tak bleh terima gofren dah mati sebab tu dia keep on jugak pakai baju tu.

Dah alang-alang kau buat assumptions tu, buat assumptions gila babas terbabow.

But, for the love of God, please don't share them with me.

Aku Melayu #002

My line of work requires me to be conversant in English. Fluent. Very fluent, actually. So, realistically, my co-workers, my peers, people who share my job title, should have the same ability, if not better, right? Well, sad to say, to some, English is a luxury developed due to work needs.

Okay, so I'll risk coming off as a snob. As I've established earlier, deep down, I may even truly be a snob. And also, I love to trick people into thinking I am someone who is berlagak. But for me, English is something I need to master. It is not something I have to master, it is something I need. Like air is needed to breathe in and out.

So I work with a few people who share the same job title. In a pre-dominantly, progressive Malay organization. If it was up to me, then, even with my English, our unit will not be adequate. You see, our unit deals with the general population. Not only for the immediate circle of our organization and our client, but for the general population. Not the general population of Malaysia, but the general population of the world. I kid you not. (If only I can tell you what I do and where, but that would just defeat the whole purpose of this blog).

So if we are to communicate with the whole world, then the ideal individuals to do that should be proficient in English. Damn blardy fluent in English. Perhaps dreaming in English should be a job pre-requisite. Right??? Right...

Tapi, itulah, like I said earlier, to some, English is just a work-related need. Now, when something is work-related, it is often relegated to the second or third or even fourth priority, if it ever made it to the person's priority list pun. I mean, okay, kalau it's work-related, then surely you ada your main tasks, kan? Then you ada your not-so-main tasks. Then you ada your main-main things (for me, it's blogging or facebooking or friendstering). Then you ada your kawan-kawan borak. Habis tu, when to brush up your English? Masa in between, free time you? When? In between main friendster ngan borak with your friends? Right...

I guess it boils down to a person's priority. If they truly believe that English can enrich their lives, then they'd try harder to master it. If they tried harder to master it, rather than just skimming by, they'd realize how their English sound to their audience. If they truly wanna learn English, they'd be embarrased of the mistakes they make, even if it's only once in a while (heck, I still get embarrased when I make mistakes in English).

So, damn right, aku Melayu. Melayu yang fasih berbahasa Inggeris and damn proud of it.

Aku Melayu #001

Kenapa setiap kali aku nak berblog dalam Bahasa Melayu, aku fail? Aku selalu rasa cam poyo gila. Cam ntah apa-apa. Aku cuba jugak nak berblog dalam Bahasa Melayu baku, lagi fail. Sumpah tak boleh blah. Jadik macam poser, macam aku buat-buat. Mungkin medium komunikasi aku secara amnya, bahasa Inggeris, tapi, ye, aku still Melayu. (p.s. aku selalu typo Melayu jadik Melayi).

Ada banyak benda yang buat aku sangat Melayu. Salah satunya, aku memang muka Melayu. Mungkin ada jugak yang kata aku muka Jawa (mak aku orang Jawa, ayah aku 1/2 Jawa). Tapi tak de lah Jawa sangat kot. But then again, so what kalau muka Jawa pun?

Jadi, kalau dah muka Melayu, kenapa nak cakap Omputih? Berlagak? *sigh*. Lazimnya aku biarkan orang yang fikir aku cakap Bahasa Inggeris sebab aku berlagak untuk terus berfikiran begitu. Sebab kalau aku buktikan yang aku sebenarnya tak berlagak, I may even have to be friends with those people.

*shudders*

Amit-amit.

//ha, tu cakap Jawa, tahu tak?