Internet Explorer FTW!

Tahu tak sekarang ni aku berblog menggunakan Internet Explorer? Sadis tak? I'm so two-thousand-eight, you're so two-thousand-late...

Don't be hatin Internet Explorer, y'all. Walaupun, truth be told, aku tak suka guna IE. Guna pun sebab terpaksa. Mengapa terpaksa?

Well, the place where I work uses Gmail accounts as our work email account, so FF aku dah guna untuk satu ID Google, iaitu, work ID.

I have also installed my much beloved Chrome in this PC as well, but that one is used for R&D purposes, whereby I am developing a work-related blog, so I have to use another work-related ID to sign in to Google on my Chrome browser.

So, that leaves me with IE to basically type the odd entry sekali-sekala bila ada waktu senggang time kerja atau bila nak stalk blog orang dan leave comments with this ID. Tapi kat rumah aku pakailah sama ada FF atau Chrome.

Sadis.

Dulu, guna FF boleh guna dua ID. I can log in to my work email account and also log in to iGoogle using my personal account, tapi recently, company tukar structure work Google account membuatkan ia kini jadi all-in-one. And horror of horrors, even Google+ pun boleh diintegrate sama.

LAGI SADIS.

To Do or Not To Do

Sorry, I don't have the source. This has been in my Wallpaper folder for ages.

This place, this place I'm starting to dislike, has a lot of great friends in it. We bitch and moan a lot. We criticize and complaint (with good reasons, at least we think they're good reasons, or maybe they're just excuses, I dunno...). We just basically do what human with the XY chromosomes are expected to do, we do next to nothing and we bitch a lot. [Please read that with just the right amount of sarcasm you can muster. Seriously. No, SERIOUSLY]

So anyways, I have a bit of a beef. This beef has an easy solution, I should just (wo)man up and tell this person what's what. In fact, if someone were to tell me that they're in this type of dilemma, that would be my advise to them. But of course, I am very much do-as-I-do-not-as-I-say kind of person. So there.

My beef is with one person who asks me to do this favour. I don't wanna go into details, so stop tricking me INTO TELLING YOU THE FRIGGIN DETAILS!!! *deeeeep breaths* Sorry, my bipolar kicked in just there. So this favour, it's kinda like tricking the system (and we all LOVE to stick it up to the system right?). Thing is, I don't want to trick the system. I don't see the point. If you did something wrong, you did something wrong. Most of the time, I know it's not your fault, so that's that. And sometimes, it is your fault, so shouldn't you just deal with it? I know I will.

Thing is, it's been quite a few times (about 13 times so far, yes, I keep track of these nonsensical trivialities) that I told this person, if it was me, I'll just deal with the consequences. After all, when I say 'doing something wrong', I don't mean killing somebody or stealing or anything bad like that. It's just, sort of, like an unacceptable behaviour. But still, it does not necessarily affect your work performance..

And I'm from the school of thought that maybe, in the future, it might just be me in the other pair of shoes. I'm also apt to say, I'll cross that bridge when I get there, if I get there. At this particular moment in time though, I am pissed. You call yourself my friend and you put me in this compromising situation.

extra prescription. one of my undecipherable post, i know. bear with me, this particular bipolar personality is very fleeting. she'll go away soon enough.

Sini Tak Ada Hantu

Source

Translation:"Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah. Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured."

Surah Ar-Ra'd, verse 28

I am not the most religious person here. I am sure you have a better relationship with your God than I do with mine, because most of the time, I remember him only at my own convenience. Or when I am too deep in misery and there's simply nowhere else to turn to but to Him. But Merciful Lord that He is, He never turns away from me, Alhamdulillah.

I do, however, have that very same verse taped at the of my monitor. I stumbled upon it, reading the many status updates of my friends. The verse is my daily reminder that to be at peace with things, I need to go back to Him, because only by remembering Him will "hearts are assured" or, according to another translation, "hearts do find their rest."

I need that reminder because I am control freak. I sweat the small stuff. Although I know it's the small stuff that counts, I don't think I should make a concious decision to sweat on the small stuff, right? But freak that I am, I do. I sweat the friggin' small stuff, so much so that I may give myself high blood pressure before 30. So from time to time, I am reminded to remember Him and my heart, insyAllah will find rest.

Not to digress or anything (I promise this has a huge relationship with the verse I shared earlier), but the office I work in is an old building. It was build probably in the 60s or 70s. The company has done it's share of renovation and modernization so our office is pretty decent. However, in Malaysia, we are a very superstitious lot. Oftentimes, I get to hear all this creepy ghost stories about my colleagues' encounter with the not-so-fairer kind.

Okay, in all fairness, I have my suspicions. Personally, I do believe in the supernatural. But do I believe that 'they' can harm us? I don't think so. I personally believe that 'they' have as much power as we give to them. From time to time, I do get goosebumps out of nowhere. I have that uncanny feeling that somebody's watching over my shoulder, you know the drill. But so far, Alhamdulillah, no alarming encounters, knock on wood (uh-oh, Christian-originated saying, habislah aku masuk nuraka).

Colleagues have mentioned, that apparently, my cubicle is a hot seat, as in, a favourite place for these apparition to appear. One colleague has told me that she saw "me" sitting at the desk when I am not around. This colleague has undergone major brain surgery and has a titanium plate in her cranium, I kid you not, so I just smile and nod when she told me the story.

So enter another colleague. Who came over to my place one day, not too long after I pasted the above-mentioned verse to my monitor. She saw the verse, came closer and read it. She looked at me, dead straight in the eye, and asked, "Ini ayat halau hantu ke?"

Source

Make me care, dammit!

Dear all, I've gotten to that stagnant point again. A point where I feel downright trapped. In routine. In the same things that I have to do again and again and again and again. I am looking for a challenge, yet I have yet to find one. I am looking for excitement from my work, but I have yet to experience any. I am, in short, stuck in a rut.

Work is abundant. Aplenty. Me? I no longer go the extra mile. I have gotten to the point of "Why the hell should I care?" People with lesser commitment and dedication are scraping by, some are even faring better than me. So why should I care??

Maybe I am making excuses. Of my laziness. Of my procrastination. Of my refusing to do work. Of my endless hours of surfing Craig Ferguson and Robin Williams on YouTube. Of my addiction to Facebook and Mafia Wars. Maybe, I dunno.

Last time I felt like this, I jumped ships. But I have to share one positive note though. Before this, it took me only months to reach this abysmal point. Here, at least it took me some years. So maybe I am moving towards the right direction?

Today is Gonna Be the Day...

Okay, okay, no more excuses. This is the day, week, part of the month where I start to do things. No more saying, "Shite, I need more time," or "Fuck it, I'll do this tomorrow," or "Dammit, somebody else can do this!"

Shut your pie hole, Hun. You better get crackalackin.

Brace yourself for a super-busy week.

Kedekut Ilmu

Agak off-putting bilamana entry sebelum ni bercerita tentang patah hati dan kekejaman manusia, lepas tu tiba-tiba, entry seterusnya bercerita tentang amarah. Oh well, this is the point of this blog anyways, ini blog marah aku. Sebab tu aku nak anonymous (konon?).

Last week, okay, I admit it was late in the week, I arranged for a so-called expert to come in as a guest for something. He said he'll come. Okay, sweet. I worked out the question, the scheduling etc. All seemed fine. The session was scheduled to be on today, at 3.30 - 4.30 pm.

Then at 2.00 pm, I receive a phone call saying the expert is not well, is on MC.

Okay, so, falling sick is not exactly his fault, but WTF? It seems like susah betul aku nak mintak these so-called-experts ni to share their expertise. Kedekut ilmu? I read a blog entry (sorry lost the link) where the blog owner was going on and on and on about how he had to do ALL THESE HARD WORK to accommodate one handicapped student. And about how ALL THOSE HARD WORK is not billable, is not something that is acknowledged in his salary.

Tapi aku tak terasa sangat pasal blog entry lecturer tu. Dia kuffar. Dia tak faham sebetul-betulnya konsep rezeki. Pada dia, rezeki atau balasan cuma dalam bentuk kewangan. Tapi these experts, bukankah sepatutnya faham konsep rezeki? Betapa kalau berkongsi ilmu itu, makin murah rezeki? Rezeki datang mungkin dalam bentuk lain. Kalau nak diikutkan, macam-macam kita boleh tengok sebagai rezeki. Hidup sehari lagi untuk beramal - rezeki. Tengok berita pasal kemalangan, instead of terlibat in one - rezeki. Anak pun orang kata rezeki.

Jadi, marilah join aku dalam kempen menghargai rezeki anda, walau dalam apa bentuk sekalipun rezeki itu datang.

Alhamdulillah Tuhan, aku berhadapan dengan orang yang macam ni. InsyaAllah aku akan menghargai orang yang easy to deal with. InsyaAllah lepas ni aku akan sentiasa ingat untuk tidak jadi seperti experts ni, dan jadi seorang yang lebih generous dengan ilmu.

Amin.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T, Find Out What It Means to Me

This is where being an anonymous blogger helps me. I want to vent. Pardon the vulgarities and profanities (if any) that ensue.

I am supposed to conduct an interview with this huge tokoh. It'll just be a recorded interview, simple questions, with talking points, which I've prepared. Mind you, the questions and talking points went through 3 levels of editors, okay? And the amendments were very little (I am, for once, not being a snob, but really, where can one go wrong with a New Year message?)

Okay, fine. That horror is over.

Then somehow, the biggest boss here got wind of the interview. He's a nice guy, I like him actually, but I can't for the life of me, think of a reason why, he would not let a lowly exec (me) interview the huge tokoh. WTF? For him, as if, tak menghormati the huge tokoh. (BTW, the huge tokoh bukannya well educated pun, just so happen to be married to a very influential person). WTF?

So, the biggest boss had asked another boss to interview the huge tokoh. Now, this boss, I've emailed the boss the Q&A since MONDAY, BLARDY, MANIC MONDAY, okay? Then the not-so-big-boss replied, "Okay, I'll take a look at it this afternoon and let you know of any amendments." Fuh, lega. (This all happened on Monday, coincidentally, I had a 39 Degrees fever then, but you don't hear me complaining, right?)

Do you know when she replied? Friday. The not-so-big-boss replied on Friday and the interview is supposed to take place the next Monday. The not-so-big-boss replied with amendments and the amendments needs to be edited and looked at by a host of other people, and it's a long weekend with cuti Awal Muharram on Monday (yes, it is not enough that they have to torture me into joining the interview on Monday as nothing more than a glorified tukang bawak barang).

And to top it all, I received an SMS on Sunday morning saying the interview is OFF!!!

BLOODY HELL!!!

Have you no respect of my time and effort?

No, of course not, I am but a lowly personnel who just don't get it, right? Whatever.

Selagi Belum Tutup Mata, Kerja, Kerja, KERJA

So I had a discussion with a few co-workers this morning. It's about re-writing a piece of interview another colleague has written for a big person that is related to the company I'm working with. This colleague's English is so-and-so. (This story actually prompted me to write this).

So, when the unit's big boss read my colleague's Q&A, the big boss flipped. English was primary-school level, the answers prepared for the big person were shallow. Like, and this is a very poor example ya, but here it goes.

Situation : You're interviewing Al Gore
Question : What do you think of global warming?
Answer : (Which you prepare, just in case, not really expecting Al Gore to follow your answer, just that in case he froze or something, I dunno) I think it's bad and people need to recycle more.

Apekah?

Okaylah, mungkin aku tak berada di tempat colleague tu. Mungkin bukan aku yang kena marah dek big boss kitorang, tapi still, aku faham apa yang big boss aku cakap tu. Colleague aku tu menjawab sikit lah, dia kata, "Tapi, ini semua feedback daripada [lagi sorang big boss], saya ikut je." Hmmm. Okaylah, fine, big boss lagi sorang tu kasi idea, but still, when it comes to writing and wording the questions and answers, you're still responsible. So, pandai-pandailah jugak kan?

This is the dilema lah, pada aku. Sebab hakikatnya, Q&A tu bukannya guna sangat pun. Sediakan just for the sake of sediakan je. Formality. Tapi kena lah ada, kalau tak de, lagi haru. Tak ikut protokol (or whatever). Tapi bila sediakan, kena shot down, cam haku pun kena gak. Susah lah.

Tu lah, masa interview dulu, the biggest boss here tanya aku, soalan standard sebenarnya dalam interview, what is your biggest weakness? Aku cakap, aku tak pandai handle different expectations from different people, i.e. bosses. Bos yang ini nak aku independent, bos yang itu nak aku refer dia tentang apa-apa hal pun, bos yang sinun couldn't care less aku tergolek dog pun. Aku tak boleh. Pada aku, bosses kena ada united front. Kalau nak workers yang independent, then let me be. Give me the guidance then trust me to make the right decisions. Kalau nak suruh aku dependent pada bos, then jangan suruh aku fikir.

Susah sangat ke?

Aku Melayu #002

My line of work requires me to be conversant in English. Fluent. Very fluent, actually. So, realistically, my co-workers, my peers, people who share my job title, should have the same ability, if not better, right? Well, sad to say, to some, English is a luxury developed due to work needs.

Okay, so I'll risk coming off as a snob. As I've established earlier, deep down, I may even truly be a snob. And also, I love to trick people into thinking I am someone who is berlagak. But for me, English is something I need to master. It is not something I have to master, it is something I need. Like air is needed to breathe in and out.

So I work with a few people who share the same job title. In a pre-dominantly, progressive Malay organization. If it was up to me, then, even with my English, our unit will not be adequate. You see, our unit deals with the general population. Not only for the immediate circle of our organization and our client, but for the general population. Not the general population of Malaysia, but the general population of the world. I kid you not. (If only I can tell you what I do and where, but that would just defeat the whole purpose of this blog).

So if we are to communicate with the whole world, then the ideal individuals to do that should be proficient in English. Damn blardy fluent in English. Perhaps dreaming in English should be a job pre-requisite. Right??? Right...

Tapi, itulah, like I said earlier, to some, English is just a work-related need. Now, when something is work-related, it is often relegated to the second or third or even fourth priority, if it ever made it to the person's priority list pun. I mean, okay, kalau it's work-related, then surely you ada your main tasks, kan? Then you ada your not-so-main tasks. Then you ada your main-main things (for me, it's blogging or facebooking or friendstering). Then you ada your kawan-kawan borak. Habis tu, when to brush up your English? Masa in between, free time you? When? In between main friendster ngan borak with your friends? Right...

I guess it boils down to a person's priority. If they truly believe that English can enrich their lives, then they'd try harder to master it. If they tried harder to master it, rather than just skimming by, they'd realize how their English sound to their audience. If they truly wanna learn English, they'd be embarrased of the mistakes they make, even if it's only once in a while (heck, I still get embarrased when I make mistakes in English).

So, damn right, aku Melayu. Melayu yang fasih berbahasa Inggeris and damn proud of it.

Sungguh Marah #001

Saya sungguh marah. SUNGGUH. DAMN RIGHT, saya marah. Kenapa saya marah? Sebab saya dah penat-penat buat kerja, dok kejar sana-sini nak dapatkan guest besar tu, tetiba, bila dah dapat guest besar tu, macam sial, kena pegi tempat lain dan tak boleh join nak interview orang besar tu. DAMN RIGHT I AM PISSED OFF.

I am pissed off at my boss, for not sticking up for me. Fight for my right to be there lah! Why should someone else do what I started? Okay, fine, so maybe part of me is angry because this is something out of the ordinary. Something yang glamor lah kot? Something yang tak semua orang dapat buat. Damn right I'm pissed not able to be a part of that. Tapi what pisses me off more, is that I took the initiative to make the first move! Orang lain tak bergerak lansung pun. Tiba-tiba, orang lain yang dapat pergi?

I am also pissed off with the HR. Look, for me, it's crystal clear that this is extra-curricular activity. It is not something within my immediate job scope. It is just an initiation rite that you have a few times a year. So I missed the first one, my son was hospitalized. Now, if I miss the second one, I'll be blacklisted for not being cooperative? Fuck you, forgive me for doing my work! Why did you schedule the event during the busiest time of the year? Pernah consult our bosses ke pasal the suitability of the time? Tak pernah kan? Then how? You arrange during busy times, then of course lah orang busy and unavailable. Bencilah macam ni.

It's shite like this that makes me so sick of work!

Digital Natives vs Digital Immigrants

Once upon a time, a time where there was no Internet, people had to go to the library to find out about stuff. Or they had to ask their teacher, the know-it-alls of their time. They type out their assigments on typewriters, those born in the 80s and above using electronic typewriters. Those more unfortunate born earlier had to use the mechanical ones (to tell y'all the truth, I kinda dig them typewriters, they have so much quaintness and character). These people studied hard to be the best in their field, and some do become the best in their field years later.

These breed of people then grow up to be teachers, lecturers, tutors and the likes. We'll call these people digital immigrants.

Fast forward. Enter a new breed of people. Young'uns who was born into a world with computers at their home, broadband internet connection, word processor, digital imaging etc. These people are so well-versed with the cyberspace, Second Life is their life. They keep up with their friends via Friendster or Facebook. They communicate with their friends using Yahoo Messenger or MSN Messenger. We'll call them young'uns digital natives.

These digital natives go to schools, which are administered and taught by the first breed of people, the digital immigrants. (Note : Read here for more explanation about those two breeds.)

So of course, these two breeds think differently.

More often than not, the younger set of digital immigrants will adapt and adopt IT successfully. But then again, they have accents that painfully reminds you that they do not really belong in the digital natives group. Painful reminders like, "Kau print email-email kau tu, jadik proof untuk appraisal kau nanti" or *phone rings, you pick it up* "Masuk bilik aku jap, aku nak tunjuk website ni kat kau..."

*sigh*

Kadang-kadang aku rasa cam nak tatu, God doesn't give you more than what you can handle kat mana-mana anggota badan aku yang aku boleh selalu nampak.

Tuhan tolong aku.

Things I Do Not Like to Do But Have to Do Anyways #001

Structured work. 'Nuff said.

I totally suck at doing something day in and day out, over and over again. I'd rather face new things, new challenges, anything, rather than the boring same-old, same-old. But of course, being a person employed by another, choosing what to do, is but a luxury.

I hate being a slave.

This is one of the days that strengthen my resolve to be a stay-at-home-mom.

Life in the Not-So-Fast Lane

Been a blurry and boring week. Nothing exciting happens. Boo-hoo. I dunno la. Mungkin dah overkill dengan semua exciting things yang jadik last week, so this week is a dead week. Demmit.

One ray of sunshine, a brand new addition to our family.

Meet my HTC TyTN II. I'm calling her... err... actually, I dunno what to call her. Call her my PDA? Nah, too boring. My handphone, that's just wrong, cos she is a PDA. I dunno people, what does she look like to you?

Maybe I should call her orgasm. Ooh.

ps. Sorry for being a tech geek. :-P . Maybe if I rajin, then got review, okay? No promises.