Monday, January 19, 2009

Lost Causes?

Aku marah hari ni. Marah. Sedih. Dan mungkin sedikit disappointed. Tapi aku tak tahu kenapa aku marah, sedih dan disappointed. Mungkin......

Last weekend was quite an eventful one. Not life-changing eventful, but eventful nonetheless. There was a workshop at work that I attended on Saturday. And I went to the Save the Palestinians Campaign organized by COMPLETE on Sunday. I went there with both kids, the one who's 4, the other one who's 11 months old. Hubby didn't follow, he was home, nursing his back pain.

I took it upon myself to insist on going to the rally. I really wanted to go. I wanted to actually feel what it's like. But as I was there, I can't help but feel disappointed. I kept on asking myself, "what good will this be? what good will this bring?" This is not a criticism against the organiser. I applaud their good job. But rather, perhaps these moments of despair can be attributed to the fact that the more I am exposed towards the brutality, the more helpless I feel.

These moments of despair can perhaps also be attributed to the fact that there are still many that are saying, Palestinians are wrong. That the Palestinians are terrorists. That Islam promotes terrorisme. Ya Allah, are you trying to tell us something? However, I believe that it is the Palestinians' right to fight back. It is their land. Like the gist of Dr. Mahathir's speech last Sunday, as with any sort of oppression or colonialisation, you would see the oppressed and the colonialised fighting back, even if the oppression or colonialisation are for a "good cause" (a cause sorely lacking in Israel's attacks).

This alone should put me in gloom for days on end.

Then I witnessed the debacle at KT. What a show, BN, WHAT A BLARDY SHOW. Okay, so I am an UMNO supporter. But I am not a disillusioned one. I know there are many things seriously wrong within UMNO. I know people dislike UMNO. But I have faith. I have faith that these wrongs can be mended. They have to be corrected. And insyaAllah, I will help to mend the wrongs. That's why I support UMNO, because I have faith that UMNO is something worth fighting for. But to see this... And to see that people who are supposed to be intelligent keeping on making the same mistakes, over and over again. It breaks my heart. And from henceforth, my political standing is that I have faith in UMNO. I don't support UMNO, but I have faith in UMNO.

A fool and her lost causes?

Yes, and her bipolar is kicking in.

Dear Officemates,
please forgive my off-key Mika's Grace Kelly from now on.

Friday, January 16, 2009


Macam mana aku nak eja untuk bantu orang pronounce perkataan tu dengan betul? Mu-we? Mu-wa? Entahlah. Aku pun tak pasti. Tapi yang aku pasti, mua tu perkataan yang bermaksud, jemu, jelak, bosan dengan sesuatu. Jemu, jelak dan bosan up to the point yang kita dah immune dengan benda tu.

Dan aku rasa, mua tu, sesuai kalau aku aplikasikan kepada Konflik Gaza sekarang ni. 60 tahun lebih dah Israel dan Palestin berperang. Berbunuhan. Perlukah kita beri perhatian lagi? Perlukah kita membantu? Selama hari ni, kita tak membantu ke? Kalau kita ada membantu, kenapa mereka masih berperang dan berbunuhan?

Mua tu mungkin salah satu proses desensitisation. Kita dah mua, kita dah jelak dihadapkan muka anak-anak Palestin berdarah-darah. Kita dah bosan tengok bayi-bayi yang dibalut kapan. Kita dah jemu tengok perang orang yang berterusan. Perlu ke aku kisah pasal semua ni?

Aku tak boleh jawapkan untuk korang. Tapi kalau aku boleh bersuara, dan kalau korang sudi mendengar, tolonglah ambil kisah. Tolonglah ambil peduli. Walaupun dengan peduli tu, perang masih berterusan. Walaupun dengan peduli tu, kematian terus bertambah.

Sebab peduli itu lebih baik daripada tidak peduli.

Let's Read the Quran Campaign

While bloghopping, my favourite early morning fanciful waste-of-time activity, I came across Rocky Bru's entry on A Campaign Not Just for Muslims. I seriously thought it was something on boycotting Israel goods (or something, I dunno, this was just something that is always in my head of late).

So I clicked the link, and was brought to the page bearing this logo.

Oh, so it's not much to do with Gaza, I thought. So I read on, and I found out that, through Nuraina A Samad's Let's Read the Quran entry, it's basically a campaign that asks ALL of us, (that's why Rocky sez it's not only for Muslims), to read the Quran.


My eyes immediately went to the Quran, Tafsir and Surah Yasin I have on my work desk. They're there to halau hantu (boleh tak? I work in an old, used-to-be government building and my window --which is right behind me -- overlooks an old, abandoned bungalow on top of a hill, I kid you not. Seriously scary). But, yeah, it's embarrasing lah, kan? (Tolonglah remind mak budak ni to GROW UP!)

So I said to myself, "you're still looking for that New Year's Resolution kan? Why not make this one your resolution?"

Hmmm. And it might just work out for the best.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Day Without Internet

If you’re addicted to the World Wide Web, a day without internet can be crippling. Debilitating. Scary. But then, you take your eyes off the monitor, you raise your head up from your cubicle and look around and you see your co-worker, your friend. You go and say “Hi!” You're actually socialising in the real world, rather than just poking your friends via Facebook, Myspace and Friendster. And a day without internet would not have been so crippling anymore.

'Cos now you have a friend to bitch about both of your days without Internet. Cool.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

So Long, It's Been So Long Ago...

There are 8 of us in the family, 4 girls, 4 boys. I am number 8. The sister above me, #7, is 8 years older than me (okay, enough maths for today). And I've a niece in Ireland pursuing her degree in medicine. She's young, so she's kinda very, very gung-ho about Palestine (so am I by the way, but I'm gung-ho in another way).

Anyways, this niece sent an email about her fight so far, joining some march for Palestine's freedom in Ireland etc. And my sister (#7) replied my nieces email with something like, "I was 9 years old when Kakak (our oldest sister) bought me this pair of sweatpants -- part of the proceeds from the purchase of those pants went to Palestine..." or something like that.

My eyes were immediately glued to the words 9 years old. Sister #7 was 9 when she got the pants. Man, this have been going on that long? I know from news report etc, that the attack has been going on for 60 years, but Sister #7's words actually put things into perspective for me.

And I pray for Palestine. Maybe you should to.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Kedekut Ilmu

Agak off-putting bilamana entry sebelum ni bercerita tentang patah hati dan kekejaman manusia, lepas tu tiba-tiba, entry seterusnya bercerita tentang amarah. Oh well, this is the point of this blog anyways, ini blog marah aku. Sebab tu aku nak anonymous (konon?).

Last week, okay, I admit it was late in the week, I arranged for a so-called expert to come in as a guest for something. He said he'll come. Okay, sweet. I worked out the question, the scheduling etc. All seemed fine. The session was scheduled to be on today, at 3.30 - 4.30 pm.

Then at 2.00 pm, I receive a phone call saying the expert is not well, is on MC.

Okay, so, falling sick is not exactly his fault, but WTF? It seems like susah betul aku nak mintak these so-called-experts ni to share their expertise. Kedekut ilmu? I read a blog entry (sorry lost the link) where the blog owner was going on and on and on about how he had to do ALL THESE HARD WORK to accommodate one handicapped student. And about how ALL THOSE HARD WORK is not billable, is not something that is acknowledged in his salary.

Tapi aku tak terasa sangat pasal blog entry lecturer tu. Dia kuffar. Dia tak faham sebetul-betulnya konsep rezeki. Pada dia, rezeki atau balasan cuma dalam bentuk kewangan. Tapi these experts, bukankah sepatutnya faham konsep rezeki? Betapa kalau berkongsi ilmu itu, makin murah rezeki? Rezeki datang mungkin dalam bentuk lain. Kalau nak diikutkan, macam-macam kita boleh tengok sebagai rezeki. Hidup sehari lagi untuk beramal - rezeki. Tengok berita pasal kemalangan, instead of terlibat in one - rezeki. Anak pun orang kata rezeki.

Jadi, marilah join aku dalam kempen menghargai rezeki anda, walau dalam apa bentuk sekalipun rezeki itu datang.

Alhamdulillah Tuhan, aku berhadapan dengan orang yang macam ni. InsyaAllah aku akan menghargai orang yang easy to deal with. InsyaAllah lepas ni aku akan sentiasa ingat untuk tidak jadi seperti experts ni, dan jadi seorang yang lebih generous dengan ilmu.


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Doa Itu Senjata Orang Mukmin

When I was in school, I studied a subject called Newswriting. As the subject name suggests, it's about writing news story, the kind you read in newspaper or the kind you hear being read on TV or on the radio.

I had a great time learning that subject, because, after all, I fancy myself as a writer.

One of the thing we learnt in that subject is, newsworthiness. It's basically a measure for any news reporter/journalist/writer can use when determining whether or not the story deserves a space in the newspaper or the TV or radio news.

There are seven newsworthy attributes. Prominence. Currency or timeliness. Proximity. Novelty. Human Interest. Impact. Conflict. There might be more, but the ones I learnt were those seven. Let me focus on one for this entry. Proximity.

Proximity, in relation to newsworthiness, basically means that a news story is interesting to the readers or listeners or viewers due to the fact that the parties involved in the news story are somewhat 'close' to the readers or listeners or viewers. By 'close', I mean, they share similarities, they share something in common that makes the readers or listeners or viewers able to relate to those in the news story.

Proximity here, to me at the very least, is open to your own definition. Geographical proximity, for example, as Malaysians, something happening in Malaysia would interest us. Proximity here, also denotes other similarities, like if the news story is about something affecting the Muslims, then the Muslim readers or listeners or viewers will be interested in the story, because even if the people in the news story is at the other side of the world, they're still our Muslim brothers and sister. We still share a common thread.

That's why what's happening in Palestine interests me. Though I gave Islam as a commonality between me and the Palestinians, I woefully acknowledge that I am not a good Muslim. But the stories and pictures bombarding the mass media of the latest attacks still breaks my heart. Maybe it's because I'm a mother?

I've a favourite quote, though I used that term loosely, because I don't have the exact word, on the Palestinian cause. It's from a well-known ustaz (religious, Islamic guru) here in Malaysia, Ustaz Wan Sohor Bani Leman. Ustaz Wan says that, "Palestin hanya akan menang, apabila solat Subuh berjemaah di surau sehari-hari sama ramai jemaahnya macam solat sunat Aidilfitri."

Mungkin nanti Allah makbulkan doa anak-anak Palestin. Dan doa-doa ibu-ibu yang patah hatinya seperti aku. Amin.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009




Tapi seriously, I cannot stand things that don't serve a function. Contoh, kat rumah lah, rumah aku included, mesti ada vases after vases after vases of bunga. Apekah? Mak aku cakap, saja hiasan. Cantik. Dan every weekend, lazimnya koleksi bunga mak aku akan bertambah. Kenapa? Sebab Mak aku mesti ada jemputan kawin, dan more often than not, Mak aku akan dapat bunga telur or bunga pahar.

Aku dah cuba mintak Mak aku tengok Inside a Hoarder's Home on Oprah Winfrey (mind you, Mak aku tak lah sechronic that particular lady, at least Mak aku seorang yang kemas semua benda, and the kind of person where everything has a place), tapi masa tengok cerita tu, Mak was more excited about the house makeover. "Cantiknya!!!" or "Would you look at that!!!" I dunno if she was doing it on purpose, or memang dia sangat-sangat excited about the beautiful makeover.

And actually, to be honest, I also have my clutter. I have tonnes of "recycle paper", papers which are printed on one side, jadi konon-konon, I want to use the other side lah, for writing and conteng and stuff. Tapi haram, jarang guna pun. And the pile just keep growing. Adeh. I want to throw them away, but then, part of me is scared of Al Gore. After all, I don't want to be An Inconveniet Truth.

So, memandangkan physically, as in my office space, my homefront, I cannot do much of de-cluttering, so I made my blog as free of clutter as possible. Hence the minimalist banner. Hence the white background. Hence the very limited use of colour. Ahaha. Konon lah.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Separation Anxiety

It's my oldest first day at kindy. I enrolled her at Smart Reader Kids in Setapak. It costs a BOMB (seriously, somewhere in the region of almost RM2k! Mak oi! Aku study kat UiTM dulu tak semahal tu, ok?) , but then again, I shouldn't be berkira when it comes to her education, right? Oy, tell that to my dwindling bank account.

The kindy itself is nice lah. It's on the upper floor of a shophouse. When I was in school, (NOTE : When I say school, I almost always mean my uni days, should in the future I say school and mean school, I'll leave a note clarifying that, ohkay?) I had this lecturer who taught us writing for the mass media (or something). And one of her assignment was to come up with an advertisement for a kindergarten. So when we presented our work, she made a remark. Something like, "Sometimes I'm worried of all these kindies, with the playground on the outside... Kalau I orang kaya and ada orang nak kidnap anak I, macam mana?" Those days, I couldn't care less lah, cos the world revolves around me, me and me. Tapi as I grow older and have kids, yeah, even the unthinkable and the unimaginable pun become scarier and scarier. Illogical as it sounds, yes, having kids playing in the playground, even if it is within the school compound, is actually quite scary. Actually, I want to relate to a family tragedy, tapi tak mo lah, let's focus this entry on my daughter's first kindy experience.

Actually, it's more like an experience for me, more than it was for her. I mean, of course lah, not to steal her thunder or anything, it is her first day at school. But she was cool, calm and collected je masa kat kindy tu. Ahahahaha. Tak berperasaan, like the mother. AHAHAHAHAHA!!! In her class alone, ada about 3 or 4 kids yang menangis-nangis, air hidung meleleh-leleh keluar -- separation anxiety. Not only that, in the class above her (as in, the 6 year old classes, meaning budak-budak yang dah masuk kindy since last year) pun ada menangis-nangis. "Nak Ayah!" or "Nak Mummy!" or "Mana MAMA!!!". Oy. I pity the teacher. I have very limited patience, what more dengan anak orang lain, so I salute the teachers.

I was actually quite apprehensive masa tinggalkan my daughter tadi. In fact, I had to stop myself a few times from calling her teacher, to ask how she's doing. Ntah apa-apa. Padahal my girl rileks je masuk kelas and was busy colouring her owl picture. BTW, my girl coloured her owl picture (the handout from a teacher) with her pencil. STORY! I gave her my old Elle pencil case, and she played with that pencil case for ages now. She keeps all her assorted crayons and colour pencils in that old pencil case. Then for today, I gave her new 2 writing pencils and a Pooh eraser, new stuff, especially for school. I put her new stationery in the Elle pencil case, along with her other stationery lah and plunked it in her Mashimaro bag. Unsurprisingly, my borderline OCD 5-year-old, only uses her new pencil to colour the handout. Why? Because the other colour pencils and crayons are for play, these are the ones Mama said to use for school. *sigh*.

You think giving birth is hard? Try leaving your kid at her kindy for the first time. *sobs* My baby's all grown up.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Jason Mraz Coming to Malaysia March 4th, 2009

I have a problem. I have a problem with people who think that pre-I'm Yours and Lucky, Jason Mraz was a nobody. They think those two were his first foray into the music business. Harlo people, use Uncle Google ya. Jason Mraz has been around for ages!

Not Tony Bennett or Frank Sinatra ages lah, of course, but he's been cranking hits since forever. There's the adorable Geek in the Pink! There's the infectious You and I Both. Singalongable The Remedy. And, and, and, and my favouritest tune from Jason Mraz, Wordplay. Excellent stuff, I tell you, and those are just his well-known stuff, okay.

So, yes, I've been a fan for quite a while. Unsurprisingly, imagine my surprise when I saw this event somewhere in my Facebook land. ZOMG!!! *hyperventilates*. AND, more importantly, his concert is set on a very special date for yours truly.

But I have to say lah, agak mengannoyingkanlah for me, cos I have to watch him with a buncha kids yang bercakap (atau menaip) secara, "sure besh giler maen live..super kewl!!" Sure haku tensen gila dok sebelah kau, budak (kalau aku dok sebelah dia lah -- you never know, Murphy's Law and all).

GAWD, suddenly I feel so blardy old.
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