Monday, January 19, 2009

Lost Causes?

Aku marah hari ni. Marah. Sedih. Dan mungkin sedikit disappointed. Tapi aku tak tahu kenapa aku marah, sedih dan disappointed. Mungkin......

Last weekend was quite an eventful one. Not life-changing eventful, but eventful nonetheless. There was a workshop at work that I attended on Saturday. And I went to the Save the Palestinians Campaign organized by COMPLETE on Sunday. I went there with both kids, the one who's 4, the other one who's 11 months old. Hubby didn't follow, he was home, nursing his back pain.

I took it upon myself to insist on going to the rally. I really wanted to go. I wanted to actually feel what it's like. But as I was there, I can't help but feel disappointed. I kept on asking myself, "what good will this be? what good will this bring?" This is not a criticism against the organiser. I applaud their good job. But rather, perhaps these moments of despair can be attributed to the fact that the more I am exposed towards the brutality, the more helpless I feel.

These moments of despair can perhaps also be attributed to the fact that there are still many that are saying, Palestinians are wrong. That the Palestinians are terrorists. That Islam promotes terrorisme. Ya Allah, are you trying to tell us something? However, I believe that it is the Palestinians' right to fight back. It is their land. Like the gist of Dr. Mahathir's speech last Sunday, as with any sort of oppression or colonialisation, you would see the oppressed and the colonialised fighting back, even if the oppression or colonialisation are for a "good cause" (a cause sorely lacking in Israel's attacks).

This alone should put me in gloom for days on end.

Then I witnessed the debacle at KT. What a show, BN, WHAT A BLARDY SHOW. Okay, so I am an UMNO supporter. But I am not a disillusioned one. I know there are many things seriously wrong within UMNO. I know people dislike UMNO. But I have faith. I have faith that these wrongs can be mended. They have to be corrected. And insyaAllah, I will help to mend the wrongs. That's why I support UMNO, because I have faith that UMNO is something worth fighting for. But to see this... And to see that people who are supposed to be intelligent keeping on making the same mistakes, over and over again. It breaks my heart. And from henceforth, my political standing is that I have faith in UMNO. I don't support UMNO, but I have faith in UMNO.

A fool and her lost causes?

Yes, and her bipolar is kicking in.

Dear Officemates,
please forgive my off-key Mika's Grace Kelly from now on.

2 comments:

Obefiend said...

believe it or not.. i want to join UMNO now theye are almost down and out

thing is i am disillusioned with Pakatan Rakyat. Too many people jumping into the wagon and pertending to fight for the people. weird eh? I always root for the underdogs and i think UMNO is the underdog now. plus UMNO bashing is pretty much boring these days. jokes are getting stale and its no fun hitting on the cripple!

so anyway

nice on you to go to rallies. i am too attached to my PC and that perry much means i have zero time for social activism

i do all my ranting, raving, flag burning and Olmert kicking on the web!

hun said...

itulah. my husband said i am too idealistic when it comes to UMNO. when we think about it, how can we undo years after years of wrongdoings, ye tak? but i guess that's where faith comes into play.

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