Thursday, April 9, 2009


It seems my earlier excitement is premature. Alas, more hickups arise. *sigh*.

Guess I should've just stuck with the sucky Minima template -- like what I've done in the past, and I'll automatically sans-headache henceforth. But... but... there are tonnes of nice-looking blogs out there! I want mine to be as nice looking as theirs!

Not fair!

*stomps feet like a 5-year old*

Back In Business...

After a bit of a hiatus -- I needed time off to cool off the mistakes I did when I fisched up my old blog template, I decided, I will, as a matter of fact, come back to this blog. I did set up a few other test, dummy blogs in my soul search, but I thought, what the hey, I don't want the old, 700 prior-to-this blogs ritual I used to have, I'mma gonna stick with this one. So this is it then.

I've searched high and low for a template I would like. The current one I'm using, I quite like, but I'm still on the lookout. The feel would probably be the same as this one, though, traditional at heart, I'd prefer to have a template that has the sidebars on the left side of the page. Three columns is finally winning over two-columns design in my books, so that's another pre-requisite. I like natural, earthy and pastel colour combo. And I like scrapbook feel to my blog. *sigh*. Wish I could work on something, my own blog template on my very own. Hmmmm... maybe I will someday, who knows?

In the meantime, wish me luck with that people. And wish me luck and strength for the mountain of work I have for my Masters class.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

This is Why I Don't Do This...

For one thing, I don't have any qualification in Art & Design, much less in Web Design etc. Whatever I play around in Photoshop are mostly stuff I happen to stumble upon the Internet. I remember vividly the day I discovered vector brushes. ORGASM! :D

I also do not have any qualification in programming. I only know what most of the acronyms in programming stands for, CSS, CMS or whatever means, but to develop them, I dare not.

But it has, thus far, not deterred me from experimenting with this field. Experiments that, if conducted in a science lab, would've equalled to an explosion that would leave my hair standing on end, face covered in black soot and smoke wisping away from my burnt nostril hairs.

I can't elucidate more. I fisched it awlll up.


Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Today is Gonna be the Day... Part Deux...

Ladies and gentlemen, she finally did it. She fisched it awlll up.

I fucked up my blog, demmit. And no matter what I do, I can't seem to re-do the layout for my "blog entry". AIAIAIAIAI.. I've reverted to the old layout, template or whatever, still, the same thing pops out. ARGHH..

I've also managed to make the 3-column layout thingie to work, BUT, in the Layout tab, the new sidebar panel is missing. So where the fuck should I arrange the things to go in the new sidebar in???? Whattaheck have I gotten myself into.

Today is Gonna Be the Day...

Okay, okay, no more excuses. This is the day, week, part of the month where I start to do things. No more saying, "Shite, I need more time," or "Fuck it, I'll do this tomorrow," or "Dammit, somebody else can do this!"

Shut your pie hole, Hun. You better get crackalackin.

Brace yourself for a super-busy week.

Monday, March 9, 2009

The Trying Tiring Weekend

It's another 3-day weekend here in Malaysia again. But far from having a restful, fruitful weekend, I think I am more tired, exhausted and burnt out. And this coming from someone who had a 4-day weekend. *sigh*. You know the saying, the person who needs vacation the most is the person who just got home from one? I can totally relate.

Stop envying my vacation. I did not go anywhere. I was home. Friday - took care of the kids, 'cos my mother (who usually takes care of them went to Singapore to see some relatives). Saturday + Sunday - usual weekend off. Monday - public holiday, Prophet Muhammad PBUH's birthday.

I am trying very hard to not be angry. To not be negative. To remind myself, there is always, ALWAYS, a hikmah behind everything. But I can't help for being a human. I am royally pissed. I planned to do my assignments this weekend. I planned to catch up on my reading for my Masters. I planned a lot of fucking things that didn't get done because SOMEBODY thinks her plan is bigger than others.

Fuck you. I am angry. Let me be angry and if I were to burn in hell for being this angry (and tired and hungry and sleepy) then so fucking be it.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Again, I Contradict Myself

Okay, so I'm not the most strong-willed person. I get weak in the knees at the mere sight of chocolate. I feel this unnaturally strong magnetic pull towards Starbucks for a Caramel Macchiato (mind you, I've managed to resist that urge so far, okay? No Starbucks for about 2 months now [boo-hoo, big deal], but before that I went without Starbucks for a few years, until I worked at a new place where the office was right in front of a Starbucks outlet, DAMMIT!!!).

I boycott most fast food outlet. Okay, so Malaysians are the ones supplying the chicken etc to these outlets, and mostly Malay Malaysians are working behind the counter, but really, the suppliers, Muslims ke? I don't think so. Yes, very racist of me, I know. Very un-Malaysian. But I have to be cruel to make that kind decision. The kind decision that will, insyaAllah make a difference for my brothers and sisters in Palestine. And as for the minimum-wage workforce within McDonalds or KFC, come on lah, itu kerjaya ke? Seriously, you consider that your career? Do you need us, the majority of the Malaysian population, to keep you afloat? Bro, kalau lu bleh carik keje kat McDonald, wa sure lu bleh gak carik keje kat tempat lain. Mydin ke, Kamdar ke.

But it comes to entertainment, gawd-damn, I'm damned. Of course, even the so-called Zion Protocol enlists the use of entertainment as a mean to control the world. True enough, the entertainment being served right into our homes day in and day out, are mostly from them. Unsurprisingly, some of the major players in Hollywood are voicing their support for this perverted cause. Major players which include Keanu Reeves, one of the fler in my list of 5. *sigh*

Dammit! Now I have to bump him off!!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

List of Five

Here are the rules.

Five celebrities. Anybody goes. If you wanna add the ones that have passed away, go ahead, you sick necrophiliac weirdo!!! (Okay, actually, my original list got the late Heath Ledger in it, but since he's passed, well, I decided to just let the poor guy rest).

Anyways, the idea is to have five celebrities you'd have sex with if ever you get the chance.

You cannot change the list in instances like, you have Brendan Fraser on your list (number 5 or something), and then somehow, you happened to pick up Nick Carter hitchhiking. You cannot, just bump off Brendan off your list just to add Nick, okay? Other instances of bumping off names will be decided upon case by case basis.

Also, you cannot leave one spot empty to fill up "when the time comes"! All names must be filled. Must.

My list?

Huhu. Here we go!
1. Johnny Depp
2. Keanu Reeves

3. Patrick Dempsey

4. Simon Baker

5. Wentworth Miller

Honourable mentions - Jensen Ackels, Hugh Jackman, Orlando Bloom (not the blonde haired one, the dark haired Bloom!) and Sirius Black (yes, from Harry Potter, not Gary Oldman, I'd do Sirius, cos he's dark and brooding!).

All the guys I like are more or less dark haired, for the exception of Simon Baker, 'cos curly blonde hair is too blardy cute! And all the guys I like are mostly dark and brooding -- too serious and intense. Ooooh. Heheh.

Indulge me once in a while, okay?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Antara Dua Darjat

Look at my blogroll. The one on your left that says "The Readings...", you dope. Okay, now in that blogroll, I've included a few blogs that I have followed quite regularly. Blogs that I like. Blogs that makes me laugh. One is a blog of a mommy goddess on prescribed drugs at times. One is a girl who's kickass funny and has a sunny attitude. Three are socio-political blogger who are actually too much of de riguer of late that I'm even considering to remove them from the blogroll, but I love them too blardy much lah. One is another funny fler, and I like him and what he's saying.

The remaining two... Now, they are the fun ones. One of my friend hopped on this blog yesterday and shared with me his thoughts (actually, it was more like his surprise). It went something like this...

HIM : Babe, I know you, so I get the Mamat Khalid link. But Yasmin?
ME : What the hell you talking about?
HIM : What's with Yasmin on your blogroll?
ME : I like her, what?
HIM : HAH! Yeah right.
ME : I do! I like Mukhsin.
HIM : Babe, you love Nina Simone. By virtue, you like Mukhsin lah. Mana pernah filem Malaysia guna Nina Simone as soundtrack.
ME : Not true! Not true! I suka keroncong what???
HIM : Oh, fug off! That doesn't mean you like her, right?
ME : Fug you! I do like Yasmin.
HIM : And besides, Mamat and Yasmin is like... antara dua darjat.
ME : Apekah?

So apparently, my blogroll is now a standing testament that I am indecisive. That I can't decide if I want to be the cool, cultured, artsy fartsy courtesan (chewah, chewah, courtesan siot... tergugat laki aku). Or if I want to be the sarcastic, funny, smart-ass, ghetto kid who gets it all.

I dunno. Which one do you think I am?

Oh, Nina, Nina, Nina... look what you've gotten myself into???

Nina Simone - I Put a Spell on You
Found at bee mp3 search engine

Monday, February 16, 2009

Been Busy #001

I'm now in the midst of doing my Masters. I am still a bit unsure about it all, and I question my decision on a daily basis, but I dunno. Maybe because it's free??? (Yes, I am currently being sponsored by my employer). Or maybe it's because it's not something I am totally, 100% in to?

You see, I'm very sure I'd do my Masters. Preferrably doing something along the lines of communication -- the very school I graduated from in UiTM. I love the media world, mass communication, even with all its sham and drudgery. I do, I really do, no matter how I bitch about how the broadcasting world is full of fakes who puts sooooo much blardy emphasis on beauty (but not so much on brains!). Although about 95% of the newsreader, newscaster, broadcast journalist in Malaysia can barely speak in English. Although those who can are mostly being sidelined. Although... Well, you get my drift. Despite all these shortcomings and flaws, I love the world of mass communication still.

But now, I'm offered to do my Masters in Instructional Design and Technology -- what the heck??? Well, google the term and read up, that's what I had to do anyways. I actually love the subject, but as always, I'm the kind of person who loves the smooth, shiny, sometimes embossed cover of a book, not so much the content. That's why my books sometimes sit some place unread for years on end. Yes, most of the time, when it comes to books, I am the world's most impulsive shopper. I buy on a whim. And then I don't bother to read. Cos the cover has done it for me.

Now here I am, a few weeks into the programme and seriously doubting my starting in the first place. God, what have I gotten myself into? Can I really cope with all this? Can I really do this? These people -- my coursemates -- have YEARS, AGES of experience in teaching and learning, in instructional design, in education, in training. Me? I have my degree and diploma in mass blardy communication! Do I really belong here? What the hell am I doing here???

I do understand, for the most part, the discussion that's going on, but somehow, I just refuse to speak and sound foolish, I'd much prefer sitting aside silently and appear foolish. I just keep on reading these discussion and going, "what the hell? does it really matter if it's theory or concept or principles being used? why are we arguing about semantics???" whatttttttttt have I gotten myself into???

I have now officially worked myself into a headache. God, please help me.


Friday, February 13, 2009

About Me #001

I fancy myself as a writer. I used to be paid working as one. Then I got sick of writing so I quit that job. I looked for another job, found one, loving it, and don’t have to write much – bliss. But something in me just ain’t right, just ain’t clickin’, I ain’t got me some soul food. I need to write. And believe me, I’m the type of writer who writes cos I want to write. I’ll never write cos I have to write.

Don’t let the very minimal archive fool you. Or the low traffic. Rest assured that I am not new to blogging. Or monetizing my blog. As evident by a few of my posts, I have about 700 blogs before this, all abandoned out of guilt, for not updating them, for not wanting to update the blogs cos I have to. I am one of those people who believe that blog entries should only consists of stuff that counts. Sometimes, I run out of stuff that counts, and I hate making up stuff that counts just so that my blog is kept alive.

I write my entries in drafts. Then I edit them. And I re-edit. That, my friend, is the mark of a true writer. A writer never publishes something as is. It goes to different stages of heartbreaking editing, even by your own self and I am my own worst critic. That being said, since I am a borderline narcissist, that’s not such a huge punishment to me, I guess. But I do think long and hard about my entries, my choice of topic, word, etc. It’s a long and laborious process, and so I truly appreciate considerate and mindful responses (if any). Actually, I prefer not having any comments/responses at all.

Why no responses? Aren't responses a good way to know if your entry has reached your audience? Yes and No. Not many people share my sense of humour. Not many people share my point of view. Not many people get what I'm saying. Maybe I'm not from this solar system. And I hate explaining myself over and over again, but I get annoyed when people don't get me, or misunderstand me. So very the drama in my head. So I prefer if people just let me be.

But then, if I'm so against comments/responses, why don't I just disable the comments feature in your blog? Ah, I thought you'd never ask. That's for just in case. Just in case, someone from my planet reads my entries and decides to say hi.

You never know, my brother, you never know.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

John Lennon and I

I love the Beatles. Who doesn't? But that's besides the point. I love John. Had I been born 30 years earlier than my birthdate, I would happily stalk John and probably murder Yoko. Probably. Wishful thinking. On second thought, I like Paul better, on virtue of Hey Jude alone.

But to tell you the truth, I discovered Beatles later in my life. I did not grow up listening to their music, though their music did raise me up a little. I first discovered Beautiful Boy by John when I watched Mr Holland's Opus. I even know how to sing that song in sign language, cool eh? Watch the movie to find out what I mean. (Incidentally, Mr Holland's Opus also introduced me to George and Ira Gershwin)

Here's the clip. Part of the lyrics of Beautiful Boy by John Lennon is my mantra for life. Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Kesian Blog Engkau...

(Translation : Pity your blog...)

That's what one of my online friend says about this blog. Cos, #1, I kinda abandoned it for a while now -- a few weeks with no new posts?

And #2, compared to my older blogs, this one is a little bit on the not-so-popular side. Not trying to brag or anything (whattafark? You are bragging!!!) I am actually extremely well-versed in blogwhoring and selling my blog and using my online networks of friends to promote my blog.

Now, the question is, in relation to cause #2, why do I seemed to be refusing to promote my blog to my friends? Well, for one thing, I want to express myself. Truly express myself. Truly say what I feel. Of course, in my older blogs, I do this as well, but for the most part, I seemed to be reciprocating others. What I mean is that, instead of writing about what's going on my life, what's my view on things, I tend to echo others.

Case in point, I used to have this tag in my older blogs, "spin-off [blogger friend name]". What happens in the entries with those tags would be me responding towards another friends' entry, That's what I mean when I say I tend to echo others. I no longer want to do that.

Okay, so I shouldn't really be blaming others about this. I shouldn't be pointing fingers and say that it's their fault my blogs have all become somewhat like that. I should have stronger resolve myself. I should be my own person. But the thing is, I am. It's just that, most of the time, I have to be this polite freak who returns the favor. You come visit my blog, you comment, then you start an entry in your blog responding to my entry -- ay! The circle is mercilessly endless!

So that's what's with the brand new start.




Monday, January 19, 2009

Lost Causes?

Aku marah hari ni. Marah. Sedih. Dan mungkin sedikit disappointed. Tapi aku tak tahu kenapa aku marah, sedih dan disappointed. Mungkin......

Last weekend was quite an eventful one. Not life-changing eventful, but eventful nonetheless. There was a workshop at work that I attended on Saturday. And I went to the Save the Palestinians Campaign organized by COMPLETE on Sunday. I went there with both kids, the one who's 4, the other one who's 11 months old. Hubby didn't follow, he was home, nursing his back pain.

I took it upon myself to insist on going to the rally. I really wanted to go. I wanted to actually feel what it's like. But as I was there, I can't help but feel disappointed. I kept on asking myself, "what good will this be? what good will this bring?" This is not a criticism against the organiser. I applaud their good job. But rather, perhaps these moments of despair can be attributed to the fact that the more I am exposed towards the brutality, the more helpless I feel.

These moments of despair can perhaps also be attributed to the fact that there are still many that are saying, Palestinians are wrong. That the Palestinians are terrorists. That Islam promotes terrorisme. Ya Allah, are you trying to tell us something? However, I believe that it is the Palestinians' right to fight back. It is their land. Like the gist of Dr. Mahathir's speech last Sunday, as with any sort of oppression or colonialisation, you would see the oppressed and the colonialised fighting back, even if the oppression or colonialisation are for a "good cause" (a cause sorely lacking in Israel's attacks).

This alone should put me in gloom for days on end.

Then I witnessed the debacle at KT. What a show, BN, WHAT A BLARDY SHOW. Okay, so I am an UMNO supporter. But I am not a disillusioned one. I know there are many things seriously wrong within UMNO. I know people dislike UMNO. But I have faith. I have faith that these wrongs can be mended. They have to be corrected. And insyaAllah, I will help to mend the wrongs. That's why I support UMNO, because I have faith that UMNO is something worth fighting for. But to see this... And to see that people who are supposed to be intelligent keeping on making the same mistakes, over and over again. It breaks my heart. And from henceforth, my political standing is that I have faith in UMNO. I don't support UMNO, but I have faith in UMNO.

A fool and her lost causes?

Yes, and her bipolar is kicking in.

Dear Officemates,
please forgive my off-key Mika's Grace Kelly from now on.

Friday, January 16, 2009


Macam mana aku nak eja untuk bantu orang pronounce perkataan tu dengan betul? Mu-we? Mu-wa? Entahlah. Aku pun tak pasti. Tapi yang aku pasti, mua tu perkataan yang bermaksud, jemu, jelak, bosan dengan sesuatu. Jemu, jelak dan bosan up to the point yang kita dah immune dengan benda tu.

Dan aku rasa, mua tu, sesuai kalau aku aplikasikan kepada Konflik Gaza sekarang ni. 60 tahun lebih dah Israel dan Palestin berperang. Berbunuhan. Perlukah kita beri perhatian lagi? Perlukah kita membantu? Selama hari ni, kita tak membantu ke? Kalau kita ada membantu, kenapa mereka masih berperang dan berbunuhan?

Mua tu mungkin salah satu proses desensitisation. Kita dah mua, kita dah jelak dihadapkan muka anak-anak Palestin berdarah-darah. Kita dah bosan tengok bayi-bayi yang dibalut kapan. Kita dah jemu tengok perang orang yang berterusan. Perlu ke aku kisah pasal semua ni?

Aku tak boleh jawapkan untuk korang. Tapi kalau aku boleh bersuara, dan kalau korang sudi mendengar, tolonglah ambil kisah. Tolonglah ambil peduli. Walaupun dengan peduli tu, perang masih berterusan. Walaupun dengan peduli tu, kematian terus bertambah.

Sebab peduli itu lebih baik daripada tidak peduli.

Let's Read the Quran Campaign

While bloghopping, my favourite early morning fanciful waste-of-time activity, I came across Rocky Bru's entry on A Campaign Not Just for Muslims. I seriously thought it was something on boycotting Israel goods (or something, I dunno, this was just something that is always in my head of late).

So I clicked the link, and was brought to the page bearing this logo.

Oh, so it's not much to do with Gaza, I thought. So I read on, and I found out that, through Nuraina A Samad's Let's Read the Quran entry, it's basically a campaign that asks ALL of us, (that's why Rocky sez it's not only for Muslims), to read the Quran.


My eyes immediately went to the Quran, Tafsir and Surah Yasin I have on my work desk. They're there to halau hantu (boleh tak? I work in an old, used-to-be government building and my window --which is right behind me -- overlooks an old, abandoned bungalow on top of a hill, I kid you not. Seriously scary). But, yeah, it's embarrasing lah, kan? (Tolonglah remind mak budak ni to GROW UP!)

So I said to myself, "you're still looking for that New Year's Resolution kan? Why not make this one your resolution?"

Hmmm. And it might just work out for the best.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Day Without Internet

If you’re addicted to the World Wide Web, a day without internet can be crippling. Debilitating. Scary. But then, you take your eyes off the monitor, you raise your head up from your cubicle and look around and you see your co-worker, your friend. You go and say “Hi!” You're actually socialising in the real world, rather than just poking your friends via Facebook, Myspace and Friendster. And a day without internet would not have been so crippling anymore.

'Cos now you have a friend to bitch about both of your days without Internet. Cool.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

So Long, It's Been So Long Ago...

There are 8 of us in the family, 4 girls, 4 boys. I am number 8. The sister above me, #7, is 8 years older than me (okay, enough maths for today). And I've a niece in Ireland pursuing her degree in medicine. She's young, so she's kinda very, very gung-ho about Palestine (so am I by the way, but I'm gung-ho in another way).

Anyways, this niece sent an email about her fight so far, joining some march for Palestine's freedom in Ireland etc. And my sister (#7) replied my nieces email with something like, "I was 9 years old when Kakak (our oldest sister) bought me this pair of sweatpants -- part of the proceeds from the purchase of those pants went to Palestine..." or something like that.

My eyes were immediately glued to the words 9 years old. Sister #7 was 9 when she got the pants. Man, this have been going on that long? I know from news report etc, that the attack has been going on for 60 years, but Sister #7's words actually put things into perspective for me.

And I pray for Palestine. Maybe you should to.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Kedekut Ilmu

Agak off-putting bilamana entry sebelum ni bercerita tentang patah hati dan kekejaman manusia, lepas tu tiba-tiba, entry seterusnya bercerita tentang amarah. Oh well, this is the point of this blog anyways, ini blog marah aku. Sebab tu aku nak anonymous (konon?).

Last week, okay, I admit it was late in the week, I arranged for a so-called expert to come in as a guest for something. He said he'll come. Okay, sweet. I worked out the question, the scheduling etc. All seemed fine. The session was scheduled to be on today, at 3.30 - 4.30 pm.

Then at 2.00 pm, I receive a phone call saying the expert is not well, is on MC.

Okay, so, falling sick is not exactly his fault, but WTF? It seems like susah betul aku nak mintak these so-called-experts ni to share their expertise. Kedekut ilmu? I read a blog entry (sorry lost the link) where the blog owner was going on and on and on about how he had to do ALL THESE HARD WORK to accommodate one handicapped student. And about how ALL THOSE HARD WORK is not billable, is not something that is acknowledged in his salary.

Tapi aku tak terasa sangat pasal blog entry lecturer tu. Dia kuffar. Dia tak faham sebetul-betulnya konsep rezeki. Pada dia, rezeki atau balasan cuma dalam bentuk kewangan. Tapi these experts, bukankah sepatutnya faham konsep rezeki? Betapa kalau berkongsi ilmu itu, makin murah rezeki? Rezeki datang mungkin dalam bentuk lain. Kalau nak diikutkan, macam-macam kita boleh tengok sebagai rezeki. Hidup sehari lagi untuk beramal - rezeki. Tengok berita pasal kemalangan, instead of terlibat in one - rezeki. Anak pun orang kata rezeki.

Jadi, marilah join aku dalam kempen menghargai rezeki anda, walau dalam apa bentuk sekalipun rezeki itu datang.

Alhamdulillah Tuhan, aku berhadapan dengan orang yang macam ni. InsyaAllah aku akan menghargai orang yang easy to deal with. InsyaAllah lepas ni aku akan sentiasa ingat untuk tidak jadi seperti experts ni, dan jadi seorang yang lebih generous dengan ilmu.


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Doa Itu Senjata Orang Mukmin

When I was in school, I studied a subject called Newswriting. As the subject name suggests, it's about writing news story, the kind you read in newspaper or the kind you hear being read on TV or on the radio.

I had a great time learning that subject, because, after all, I fancy myself as a writer.

One of the thing we learnt in that subject is, newsworthiness. It's basically a measure for any news reporter/journalist/writer can use when determining whether or not the story deserves a space in the newspaper or the TV or radio news.

There are seven newsworthy attributes. Prominence. Currency or timeliness. Proximity. Novelty. Human Interest. Impact. Conflict. There might be more, but the ones I learnt were those seven. Let me focus on one for this entry. Proximity.

Proximity, in relation to newsworthiness, basically means that a news story is interesting to the readers or listeners or viewers due to the fact that the parties involved in the news story are somewhat 'close' to the readers or listeners or viewers. By 'close', I mean, they share similarities, they share something in common that makes the readers or listeners or viewers able to relate to those in the news story.

Proximity here, to me at the very least, is open to your own definition. Geographical proximity, for example, as Malaysians, something happening in Malaysia would interest us. Proximity here, also denotes other similarities, like if the news story is about something affecting the Muslims, then the Muslim readers or listeners or viewers will be interested in the story, because even if the people in the news story is at the other side of the world, they're still our Muslim brothers and sister. We still share a common thread.

That's why what's happening in Palestine interests me. Though I gave Islam as a commonality between me and the Palestinians, I woefully acknowledge that I am not a good Muslim. But the stories and pictures bombarding the mass media of the latest attacks still breaks my heart. Maybe it's because I'm a mother?

I've a favourite quote, though I used that term loosely, because I don't have the exact word, on the Palestinian cause. It's from a well-known ustaz (religious, Islamic guru) here in Malaysia, Ustaz Wan Sohor Bani Leman. Ustaz Wan says that, "Palestin hanya akan menang, apabila solat Subuh berjemaah di surau sehari-hari sama ramai jemaahnya macam solat sunat Aidilfitri."

Mungkin nanti Allah makbulkan doa anak-anak Palestin. Dan doa-doa ibu-ibu yang patah hatinya seperti aku. Amin.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009




Tapi seriously, I cannot stand things that don't serve a function. Contoh, kat rumah lah, rumah aku included, mesti ada vases after vases after vases of bunga. Apekah? Mak aku cakap, saja hiasan. Cantik. Dan every weekend, lazimnya koleksi bunga mak aku akan bertambah. Kenapa? Sebab Mak aku mesti ada jemputan kawin, dan more often than not, Mak aku akan dapat bunga telur or bunga pahar.

Aku dah cuba mintak Mak aku tengok Inside a Hoarder's Home on Oprah Winfrey (mind you, Mak aku tak lah sechronic that particular lady, at least Mak aku seorang yang kemas semua benda, and the kind of person where everything has a place), tapi masa tengok cerita tu, Mak was more excited about the house makeover. "Cantiknya!!!" or "Would you look at that!!!" I dunno if she was doing it on purpose, or memang dia sangat-sangat excited about the beautiful makeover.

And actually, to be honest, I also have my clutter. I have tonnes of "recycle paper", papers which are printed on one side, jadi konon-konon, I want to use the other side lah, for writing and conteng and stuff. Tapi haram, jarang guna pun. And the pile just keep growing. Adeh. I want to throw them away, but then, part of me is scared of Al Gore. After all, I don't want to be An Inconveniet Truth.

So, memandangkan physically, as in my office space, my homefront, I cannot do much of de-cluttering, so I made my blog as free of clutter as possible. Hence the minimalist banner. Hence the white background. Hence the very limited use of colour. Ahaha. Konon lah.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Separation Anxiety

It's my oldest first day at kindy. I enrolled her at Smart Reader Kids in Setapak. It costs a BOMB (seriously, somewhere in the region of almost RM2k! Mak oi! Aku study kat UiTM dulu tak semahal tu, ok?) , but then again, I shouldn't be berkira when it comes to her education, right? Oy, tell that to my dwindling bank account.

The kindy itself is nice lah. It's on the upper floor of a shophouse. When I was in school, (NOTE : When I say school, I almost always mean my uni days, should in the future I say school and mean school, I'll leave a note clarifying that, ohkay?) I had this lecturer who taught us writing for the mass media (or something). And one of her assignment was to come up with an advertisement for a kindergarten. So when we presented our work, she made a remark. Something like, "Sometimes I'm worried of all these kindies, with the playground on the outside... Kalau I orang kaya and ada orang nak kidnap anak I, macam mana?" Those days, I couldn't care less lah, cos the world revolves around me, me and me. Tapi as I grow older and have kids, yeah, even the unthinkable and the unimaginable pun become scarier and scarier. Illogical as it sounds, yes, having kids playing in the playground, even if it is within the school compound, is actually quite scary. Actually, I want to relate to a family tragedy, tapi tak mo lah, let's focus this entry on my daughter's first kindy experience.

Actually, it's more like an experience for me, more than it was for her. I mean, of course lah, not to steal her thunder or anything, it is her first day at school. But she was cool, calm and collected je masa kat kindy tu. Ahahahaha. Tak berperasaan, like the mother. AHAHAHAHAHA!!! In her class alone, ada about 3 or 4 kids yang menangis-nangis, air hidung meleleh-leleh keluar -- separation anxiety. Not only that, in the class above her (as in, the 6 year old classes, meaning budak-budak yang dah masuk kindy since last year) pun ada menangis-nangis. "Nak Ayah!" or "Nak Mummy!" or "Mana MAMA!!!". Oy. I pity the teacher. I have very limited patience, what more dengan anak orang lain, so I salute the teachers.

I was actually quite apprehensive masa tinggalkan my daughter tadi. In fact, I had to stop myself a few times from calling her teacher, to ask how she's doing. Ntah apa-apa. Padahal my girl rileks je masuk kelas and was busy colouring her owl picture. BTW, my girl coloured her owl picture (the handout from a teacher) with her pencil. STORY! I gave her my old Elle pencil case, and she played with that pencil case for ages now. She keeps all her assorted crayons and colour pencils in that old pencil case. Then for today, I gave her new 2 writing pencils and a Pooh eraser, new stuff, especially for school. I put her new stationery in the Elle pencil case, along with her other stationery lah and plunked it in her Mashimaro bag. Unsurprisingly, my borderline OCD 5-year-old, only uses her new pencil to colour the handout. Why? Because the other colour pencils and crayons are for play, these are the ones Mama said to use for school. *sigh*.

You think giving birth is hard? Try leaving your kid at her kindy for the first time. *sobs* My baby's all grown up.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Jason Mraz Coming to Malaysia March 4th, 2009

I have a problem. I have a problem with people who think that pre-I'm Yours and Lucky, Jason Mraz was a nobody. They think those two were his first foray into the music business. Harlo people, use Uncle Google ya. Jason Mraz has been around for ages!

Not Tony Bennett or Frank Sinatra ages lah, of course, but he's been cranking hits since forever. There's the adorable Geek in the Pink! There's the infectious You and I Both. Singalongable The Remedy. And, and, and, and my favouritest tune from Jason Mraz, Wordplay. Excellent stuff, I tell you, and those are just his well-known stuff, okay.

So, yes, I've been a fan for quite a while. Unsurprisingly, imagine my surprise when I saw this event somewhere in my Facebook land. ZOMG!!! *hyperventilates*. AND, more importantly, his concert is set on a very special date for yours truly.

But I have to say lah, agak mengannoyingkanlah for me, cos I have to watch him with a buncha kids yang bercakap (atau menaip) secara, "sure besh giler maen live..super kewl!!" Sure haku tensen gila dok sebelah kau, budak (kalau aku dok sebelah dia lah -- you never know, Murphy's Law and all).

GAWD, suddenly I feel so blardy old.
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