Monday, May 30, 2011

Hate = Poison

I have two kids. Impressionable kids. Little Miss is at that stage were she haven't decided whether she wants to be stubborn or impress me all the time. Little Hero is more transparent, mainly because he still wears diapers and drinks milk, and he depends on me to help with all that.

And then I went blog-hopping and blog-reviewing that I stumbled upon this thought-provoking entry.

Let me sum it up for you if you don't have the time to read, though I strongly suggest that you do. The author, a one Aries, wrote of how parents or adults basically, can influence whether or not a child love or hate someone.

Now, I have always grappled with this issue. Should I tell my kids if I hate or is angry with someone, or should I just let them be? See, I can't even stand some of my siblings, for really, heinous things they did (barring things like rape and murder). There are cases of drug and domestic abuse in my family. And yes, I know people can change, I don't doubt the human capacity for change. But the thing is, in this case, change is taking up too much time and causing too much pain (emotional mostly) for me to see it a worthy cause (to wait for that particular person to change for the better).

Here's the thing. I want my kids to decide for themselves. But not before I am done with their 'foundation', you know what I'm saying? I'd like to be able to impart and instill the values and ideas and principles first before letting them decide for themselves. That in itself is lifelong learning, not something born in mere days. But 'foundation' you know?

Speaking of which, I am also mindful of the fact that by basically saying that it's okay to hate, which is perfectly okay to someone who is almost 30. But my kids are seven and three. Still think it's okay then?

Breaks my head a little thinking about it. Breaks my heart a little bit more though.

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