Green Green Grass by the River

Ah! Tacky gila lah! 

Apa yang tacky? Tak la, aku kan dah lama tak post apa-apa, so aku nak buat macam opening, "Ni hao! Hao jiu bu jian!" (Translate: Hai! Lama tak jumpa!). Pastu aku padam. Sebab tacky. Dan corny. And if there's one thing I'm NOT is tacky. Or corny.

Anyways. Yeah, the hiatus. Oh well, shit's been hitting the fan at work lately, and me being my usual procrastinating, malas self, did not prioritize this blog. Sorry.

So what made me come back then? Saja. Been missing the medium, maybe? Or... memang penyakit aku ni ada tenggelam timbul. Sekejap aku tenggelam. Sok lusa aku timbul balik.

Ok, now, I don't want any pointless entry. So let's get to the meat of today's ramblings, shall we?

Lately, a lot of 'questionable' things are happening around me. More so than the usual fair of weirdness I am confronted with. I am talking about questionable on the morality side. A lot of stories of extramarital affairs, backstabbing, badmouthing etc is been going on, and since I am a flawed human being, aku pun join menjoyah (mesti ada yang cakap, yelah, perempuan, tak de kerja lain lettew). Oh well, Wallahualam. I try, actually, I try very, very hard. So maybe next time, I will try harder. Doakan sekali?  

And this thing too has its ups and downs. Sebab if I recall correctly, awal tahun memang rancak cerita itu ini begitu begini. Then it died down. Then recently, these things come cropping up again. This time around tak de la sehebat the earlier rounds of rumours. But jyeah, ada lagi saki-baki cerita-ceriti Kak Joyah, Kak Nam dan yang sewaktu dengannya.

I dunno what's gonna happen. And the speculations of what's gonna happen are far from rosy. Things are getting from bad to worst, and I guess people (myself included) are just reacting to the bad modjo flying around. This is no longer a healthy situation to be in, but sadly, the answer is not as crystal clear as I'd like it to be. Aku rasa nak cari team captain baru (okay, inside term, perhaps in due time, I will explain, tapi memandangkan ini melibatkan kerjaya, I will refrain from getting into too much details just yet), tapi ada banyak benda yang aku sayang kat sini. Job scope. People. Immediate boss. Team. Environment. Tapi adalah dua, tiga ketul tahi yang stinking up the whole place so much so the stench is unbearable!

And yes, I know I am not making sense. Cerita atau entry ni tiada pembukaan, kandungan dan penutup. It sucks to be stuck in this funk, trust me.

Hantu Susu

Click image for source (and to download, I think)

Actually, I caught an ad of this show on the TV. It had Erra Fazira in it, and she said something along the lines of, "Itulah, lain kali, kalau nak jadi hantu, jadilah hantu yang popular macam pontianak..." Erra Fazira, btw, played a pontianak in both this telemovie and another one, Pontianak Kampung Batu ke ape ntah. But the ad caught my attention, and I thought it was funny, so much so that I took note of the broadcast date and told myself, "Nak tengoklah..."

Alas, other priorities (like life, kids, family time etc) took me away from the hantus on TV that day.

When I came to work, a few of my co-workers were talking about the show. Akkkk, imagine my dismay. Well, not wanting to be left out, I took to the internet and searched for the show on youtube, managed to find it, finding out I had no time to watch the 90 minutes ++ it ran, downloading it via KeepVid and resolving to watch it some other day.

That was about two weeks ago. Sedih kan? Such is the life of a working mom... (not complainin', just sayin')

Fast forward yesterday evening. I found out that, lo and behold, I do have like, 90 minutes ++ to spare. Hmmm, what should I do? Should I potong kain baju raya kakak orrr... orrr... should I watch the show I have saved on my external harddisk and just have a laugh out loud session?

Love you to bits, Little Princess, but for today, Mama chose to LOL. (Alah, raya lambat lagi lah... esok2 sempat wei potong kain... potong kain semalam pun bukan bleh terus jahit, kan? Kan? Kan???)

So anyways, the telemovie is about this four hantus, Erra Fazira a.k.a Tira the Pontianak, Amy Mastura a.k.a Suri the Penanggal, Zarina AF a.k.a Jamilah the Langsuir and Marsha AF a.k.a Mawar the Hantu Kum Kum. They somehow gravitated towards this kampung and somehow became housemates in this old bungalow.

At the same time, there's a Hantu Susu on the lose in the same kampung, wreaking havoc by killing people (sucking their life out, ala Harry Potter's Dementors) and then feeding the murdered bottled milk.

Tension rise as the kampung people start to suspect that the four new addition to their kampung are the ones committing these crimes, but are they the ones to blame?

Overall, the show was not bad. Funny at times, laugh out loud funny, but there are also times when I went, meh. Amy Mastura was the comic relief, and she carried the task quite well. She was funny and bengong at the same time. Erra Fazira was quite awesome as Tira, I never realized she could do funny. Marsha was also great to watch, she was, by far, the most mysterious of the four. And Zarina totally surprised me. Although kayu at times, I think with the right direction and some extensive acting lessons, she does have the potential to do more.

Funny bits to me were basically when Suri and Tira couldn't resist to change into their hantu self. You see, all the hantus in this show was normal looking humans (prettier, but normal). But when temptation rises, these gals might just transform into their actual looks. So when the gals were taken to a house where a lady was about to give birth, Suri the penanggal (penanggal is said to live on the blood of mothers who just delivered, or something... I wanted to get the whole story from Mak, but was afraid I'll have to attend a full 50 minutes course of Penanggal 101) was the one tempted. Siap tercabut kepala penanggal tu, lepas tu tak boleh nak sambung balik. And her badan was like all over the place cos without a head, the body couldn't see.

There's also the part when Tira was the one tempted. Somehow, they were at this cooking class and a participant cut her finger with a knife. She wiped her blood with some kain or tissue or something, and Tira volunteered to throw it away, because she wanted to hisap the darah of course. But her friends, Mawar and Suri, talked her out of it.

Few things though, the SFX and CGI were horrendous. Like, why did you even bother??? Guna prop aje lagi real kot. And another thing, I dunno if it's just me, but Apek is so passé, please lah, the supporting pak lawak is funnier than him at times. If you wanna have this guy on, please have something meatier for him to bite into. And Didi Alias, haiz, why oh why lah... Half of the time, I'm not sure if she wants to melawak or be serious. I doubt that's the point the director is trying to put through, I think that's the kind of actor Didi is. Miscast, miscast... haiz...

Other than that, it was a fun watch. I'll give it, maybe a 3-star. Okay, now back to sewing and life as we know it...

PENAT

Penat. Sangat-sangat penat. Unbendingly penat. Not the penat that is associated with burnt-out, overworked, I-need-to-check-in-to-a-rehab kind of penat. Tapi physically penat. As in, my lower back is about to give up holding me up straight anymore kind of penat.

I need a break. Seriously. A seriously, effingly epic long break. Away from all this crap I've been calling work for the past 3 months. Unbelievable. It's been only 3 months and 2011 may seem to be my undoing.

Now I am assigned to this project where I'm supposed to be the ID. Don't ask me what's an ID, I'm sure it's explanation is somewhere in this blog. But to make things clear, ID is part of the design team and the design I am involved in is the design of the words, sentence and semantics. Okay, so I'm making a creative project sound like a science experiment. In my exhausted state of mind, I can't think that straight.

So anyways. I am creative person. I say that with the greatest confidence because I am creative. I work wonders with my hands (not ala Nina Sayers, cue eeeeewww). But yeah, I make cards, I doodle (although not that successfully, still, I can safely say I can at least, draw a straight line), I saw stuff and I write. Beautifully at times. Creatively at one point and the next. Agaknyalah. I'd like to think so.

I like to use words especially, for impact. Normal words. Not a single bombastic words. And I love periods. The dots between the words that I string together. Most of the time, the period has even more impact than all the words I put together. Sometimes, the whole nuance of my writing hinges on that tiny dot that separates my thoughts, the normal from the abnormal, the ordinary to the extraordinary.

But people don't get that.

That I get tired too.

Source

The Trying Tiring Weekend

It's another 3-day weekend here in Malaysia again. But far from having a restful, fruitful weekend, I think I am more tired, exhausted and burnt out. And this coming from someone who had a 4-day weekend. *sigh*. You know the saying, the person who needs vacation the most is the person who just got home from one? I can totally relate.

Stop envying my vacation. I did not go anywhere. I was home. Friday - took care of the kids, 'cos my mother (who usually takes care of them went to Singapore to see some relatives). Saturday + Sunday - usual weekend off. Monday - public holiday, Prophet Muhammad PBUH's birthday.

I am trying very hard to not be angry. To not be negative. To remind myself, there is always, ALWAYS, a hikmah behind everything. But I can't help for being a human. I am royally pissed. I planned to do my assignments this weekend. I planned to catch up on my reading for my Masters. I planned a lot of fucking things that didn't get done because SOMEBODY thinks her plan is bigger than others.

Fuck you. I am angry. Let me be angry and if I were to burn in hell for being this angry (and tired and hungry and sleepy) then so fucking be it.

John Lennon and I

I love the Beatles. Who doesn't? But that's besides the point. I love John. Had I been born 30 years earlier than my birthdate, I would happily stalk John and probably murder Yoko. Probably. Wishful thinking. On second thought, I like Paul better, on virtue of Hey Jude alone.

But to tell you the truth, I discovered Beatles later in my life. I did not grow up listening to their music, though their music did raise me up a little. I first discovered Beautiful Boy by John when I watched Mr Holland's Opus. I even know how to sing that song in sign language, cool eh? Watch the movie to find out what I mean. (Incidentally, Mr Holland's Opus also introduced me to George and Ira Gershwin)

Here's the clip. Part of the lyrics of Beautiful Boy by John Lennon is my mantra for life. Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans.

Every Day is a Mother's Day

Hari ni aku bawak bekal. Mak aku nak kena operate cataract, jadi semalam dia pergi hospital. Jadi, anak-anak sedara aku (anak-anak kakak sulung aku) datang babysit anak-anak aku yang mak aku jaga. Then malam tadi tido kat rumah. So, plus ayah, mak, aku and hubby, ada lagi 2 orang budak yang selalu lapar perut.

Memandangkan ada orang, mak aku buatlah breakfast yang agak grand. Mak aku buat nasik lemak. Actually, kepada sesetengah orang, nasi lemak tu, tak de lah grand mana, kan? Tapi mak aku dah 70 tahun. Mata pun dah tak berapa nak nampak. And still, bila ada anak cucu, sure mak aku nak masak kat diorang. So, kalau bagi korang itu tak grand, tak pe lah, sebab pada aku dah maha grand dah.

Biasalah, bila mak aku buat sarapan grand-grand ni, sure dia suruh aku bawak bekal. Alahai. Selalunya, waktu lunch ialah waktu aku bersosial dengan kawan-kawan. Makan setengah pinggan je pun. Selalunya aku borak. Dan borak. Dan borak. Serta minum Nescafe ais. Ahhh. Best.

Jadi, kalau aku bawak bekal, agak mengganggu rutin harian lunch aku. Tapi, mak aku julung-julung kali buat sarapan. Dan aku jarang sekali dapat bawak bekal daripada mak aku lagi akhir-akhir ni. Tapi, aku nak borak-borak jugak dengan kawan-kawan aku. Termangu-mangu jugak aku pagi tadi sebelum nak bungkus nasik lemak yang yang mak aku buat tu.

Tiba-tiba, mak aku cakap, "Bawak ajelah. Kalau tak makan pun, buang je. Kalau buang kat pejabat, mak tak tahu pun."

*gulp*

Aku jadi sedih.

Hari ni, aku lunch sorang-sorang kat meja dengan nasi lemak yang mak aku bekalkan. Sebab aku sayang mak aku.

Gambar untuk tujuan kosmetik. Tidak ada kena-mengena dengan nasik lemak mak aku.

Things I Do Not Like to Do But Have to Do Anyways #001

Structured work. 'Nuff said.

I totally suck at doing something day in and day out, over and over again. I'd rather face new things, new challenges, anything, rather than the boring same-old, same-old. But of course, being a person employed by another, choosing what to do, is but a luxury.

I hate being a slave.

This is one of the days that strengthen my resolve to be a stay-at-home-mom.